


Outlands

by Auda



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety Attacks, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mild (Galra) racism, Minor Allura/Shiro (Voltron), Not Beta Read, References to Depression, References to PTSD, Season 2 spoilers, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow To Update, Space Magic, War, friendship fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-24
Updated: 2017-05-26
Packaged: 2018-10-10 00:15:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 22,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10424997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Auda/pseuds/Auda
Summary: That feeling when fate traps you in space with the one person who seems to get under your skin, and you have no choice but to defend the universe with them...and the sense of deja vu?





	1. Well Here We Go Again

Keith stands on the presuppose of a large rift in the planet that he and the other Paladins are currently guarding. The others are back at camp, while he’s out scouting the area. Their Lions are hidden within the rift, awaiting their command.

He can feel the hum of his Lion in his mind.

Well, Red isn’t his Lion anymore. He only pilots Black.

The idea makes the anxious feeling tighten in his gut. He shouldn’t be leading the team. Everyone besides Hunk and, surprisingly Allura, have made that clear. The Princess remains neutral because she is the one that Red chose after Black wanted him. He’s lucky to have her on his side, though he doesn’t understand why the Black Lion picked him instead of Allura in the first place. She’s more than proved that she’s able to lead. He’d shown that he’s too hot headed to do this. So why?

He hopes that the reason is that Black knew Shiro’s constant wishes for Keith to be his second in command if anything happened. If so, then they might have a chance to find Shiro and bring him home.

Again.

The sweet wind picks up around him and dives into the rift. He watches as pieces of the plant's floral population drift around him and off into the distance. He kicks a few rocks over the edge and takes a deep breath. Patience. Focus. Wait. He lets his mind wonder and rest on his worries and thoughts for only the briefest of moments before letting them go.

“Hey, are you going to sulk up here like Batman all evening, or come join us for dinner?”

Keith jumps when he hears Lance and turns around to see the Blue paladin tapping his foot and crossing his arms. The smile at his reference doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Bat what?” Keith remarks trying to tease, but his annoyance at Lance disrupting him still tinges his words.

Lance frowns at him, and then throws his hands in the air with a frustrated, “Forget it,” as he turns to leave.

He sighs before he follows Lance back to camp.

 

…

 

The Galra aren’t nearly as much of threat as they were before the final battle. Only a few stragglers terrorize the planets closest to the edge of the empire’s control, and they’re stuck with clean up duty in the battle’s wake. Lance freezes another batch of Galra ships before he shoots and wrecks them. He banks and loops around his fellow Paladins, taking out enemies with ease.

Like, he understands that this is part of the job, but he wants to find Shiro NOW.

No matter how many times he tries to smooth things over with their new _leader_ , he keeps getting hit in the face with a molten hot shoulder.

“Lance, watch where your debris land, there are civilians still evacuating!”

Speak of the--“Yeah! Got it!” he grits out, taking a few minor hits to protect the same civilians under him.

He gets it; he messed up. When the Black Lion chose Keith after they regrouped from the battle, he lost it. Hurt, because of their loss, jealous because Keith has always had great things just given to him, and…

And why couldn’t it be him? Why was he always finishing last, getting the least recognition? He might as well not even be here. He should have known he could never be a leader, his time in the Garrison was proof enough.

He’s lost in his thoughts, and his heart aches with the homesickness that he’s been battling since they went through the first wormhole. Even though his family was large, he always felt like he mattered in some way. Distant relatives, which even he was surprised he recognized, would ask him about school and his love life. His family was great at keeping things light and if they hadn’t seen each other is years they would just pick things up from where they left off. Why couldn’t he have that here? Even Hunk and Pidge’s friendship seemed to be weakening as the days passed. He should just leave. They could find a new Blue Paladin.

Blindly tearing apart Galra ships with metal tooth and nail. Not noticing the explosions rocking his Lion. Not feeling the pain in his hands as he pilots the ship. He just felt cold, and the ache in his chest spread and angered him even more.

He doesn’t hear the order to form Voltron over the comms, and he doesn’t hear it in their weird mind link.

He freezes as the others go into formation.

The controls lock up, and he yells in frustration, slamming his hands against the panels.

“Lance, Are you alright?!” Allura’s concerned voice reaches him.

“I’m fine!” Lance snaps, feeling tension in his throat at the embarrassment of losing control of his Lion.

Blue’s quintessence rains over Lance’s mind and his world goes quiet. He gives in, and the Lion takes a position in the formation on her own. He tosses his helmet aside and runs his hands over his face, trying to breathe. He tells himself over and _over_ that everything is fine, no one thinks less of him. Lance tries and tries to remember all the reasons why he’s a good teammate, a great friend, and a loveable person. But it doesn’t work. He can’t fight anymore. He wants to go home. He wants to sleep forever. He wishes he wasn’t here. He wishes he was...

He cries alone, surrounded by friends until the battle is over. Thankfully the group takes his silence as being focused, or that he is too angry to communicate. He’s just glad that Blue has everything covered and that the battle hasn’t required anything technical from him.

With the planet saved, and the civilians’ and Coran’s cheering can be heard over the comms as they fly over the village, Voltron dissolves and the Lions land nearby. Lance works on pulling himself together enough to join his friends.

As he puts his helmet back on he can hear, their chatter again.

Hunk is laughing as Pidge says, “Did you see that?! We wiped out the entire fleet with one vine grab from my Lion!”

“Yeah, that was some serious, _flower_ power,” Lance chimes in, cringing at himself and forcing a smile as he says it.

The chorus of groans in his ears put him at ease. They don’t know he failed.

When Lance exits the ship, he sees everyone surrounded by the inhabitants of the planet. They’re all dancing and laughing. Their floral colored scales are nearly blending with their habitat in a dizzying display.

The only people not celebrating are Keith and Allura, they’re staring at him while discussing something. Lance feels torn between rage and fear. He turns away from them before he can snap, and heads for camp.

Keith calls out to him too late, and he watches as Blue starts to fly away.

“Oh,” Hunk says as he walks up to Keith and Allura. “He needs some space.” Lance’s Lion rockets off even faster and louder than at first causing a sonic boom, “No, actually _a lot_ of space.”

The villagers scream and cower, thinking that another attack had started. Coran and Pidge do quick work of calming them down by making a show of Pidges ability to communicate with the plant life. The lizard-like aliens ‘Ooh’ and ‘Ahh’ and pull the two into their festivities with heightened vigor.

Allura puts her hand on Keith’s shoulder, “This will give us enough time to discuss what happened,” she sighs, “and make a plan.”

“What?” Hunk says, “What happened? Is Lance hurt, is it serious, should we go help him?”

Pidge scoffs, as she comes up wearing a flower crown and what looks like a cape made from different colored vines. Coran is currently indulging in the local foods and dancing with an extremely spiky lizard behind her. “I doubt that. Lance never runs off when he’s physically injured, he knows better.”

Keith stares off into the orange colored sky. “I’ll inform everyone once the Princess and I have had a moment to talk,” he commands.

“Uh, no!” and “I don’t think so!” Both Pidge and Hunk shout. Keith holds his ground but doesn’t say anything.

“Lance is our friend too, and we want to know what happened.” Hunk firmly says, stepping up to Keith and crossing his arms.

They stare at each other for a long moment.

 

…

 

He feels disconnected and tired. So tired.

Lance is sitting in the Blue Lion; legs are drawn up and head resting on his arms. He feels like he shouldn’t be doing this right now, that he should be out celebrating with friends. He should always be working to defend the universe. Nothing he does is good enough, though.

Nothing.

He always falls short, no matter how hard he tries. And it doesn’t even matter because when he does try when he puts all his heart and soul into something, he fucks it up.

Like today. Lance could have kept his chill. He could not have let Keith get under his skin. But Lance didn’t. Instead, he put everyone in danger, and if Blue hadn’t stepped in and taken control, they would have gotten hurt.

He tries to breathe. Gasps into his arms and makes himself smaller.

‘It’s going to be okay,’ he tells himself, ‘It’s going to be okay.’

 

…

 

“So what you’re saying is, that our Lions aren't completely bonded with us,” Pidge confirms with Allura, “even after all we’ve been through.”

Allura nods. “The original Paladins had nearly two decapheebs to create their bonds well before the major part of the war started.”

“We’ve barely scratched the surface.” Keith realizes.

Allura looks at them, “Yes, and I was hoping that this would not happen. However, if a Paladin is under duress, be it physical or emotional then the bond can either intensify or collapse.”

There is silence within the group. Keith remembered how the Red Lion had tried to come to his aid when he was struggling against The Blade of Marmora in their trial. His lack of control had nearly gotten Shiro and himself killed. He turns away from the group and starts walking to his Lion.

“Keith, wait,” Hunk says before grabbing the smaller man’s shoulder.

Keith stops, “I have to go talk to Lance. He—“

“ _He_ needs space,” Hunk says calmly. “Trust me.”

Pidge steps up to Keith as well, “Yeah, whenever he gets stressed out it’s because he has something on his mind. He always goes off on his own to figure it out.”

“Because he’s got a self-care ritual for it.” Hunk adds, with a sad tone.

Keith stares off in the direction of camp and thinks _Lance just doesn’t want to bother anyone with it_. But he says, “Okay,” and drops the conversation for now.

They all try to take part in the festivities.


	2. Evasive Interlude

Lance is curled up in his pilot’s seat when a screen lights up the dark space, indicating that another Lion is approaching. It’s the Black Lion flying in alone. He sighs, “Thanks, Blue,” turns off the screen and wraps his arms around his legs and ducks his head down again.

Then the comms activate. “Lance?”

Keith’s voice startles him, and he glares at the inside of his Lion. He turned off the communications and everything besides emergency alerts. What was she doing?

“Lance, are you in there?” Keith calls, though his voice wavers a little.

Now that gets Lance’s attention. He sits up and turns on one of the screens. The Black Lion lands close to Blue, towering over her. He can see Keith exit Shiro’s Lion, his new black and red armor contrasting against the neon colored objects in the guy’s arms. Lance squints and enhances the image, Keith is holding a bushel of exotic fruit. The darker haired man looks up towards the cockpit, his face showing concern. Lance blinks in confusion; he’s never seen Keith with that expression directed at him before. 

“Hey, we need to talk,” Keith says up at Blue.

Lance continues to ignore him, shutting off the comms and video again. Fuck that guy. Lance has a headache, probably from crying so much, and he does not want to talk right now. _DAMN IT!_

_No. Really. FUCK KEITH!_

_Lance sits up, puts the seat upright and turns everything on. The lights only fuel the anger rushing through him, making his head hurt more._

_“GO AWAY, KEITH!” Lance yells over the comms._

_He gets a wave of satisfaction as Keith flinches, dropping the fruit on the ground and grabbing his helmet. “Ow Jesus!”_

_“I SAID GO AWAY!” Lance grips the controls and brings the Lion to standing._

_Keith scrambles to get out from under the Blue Lion. “Lance, stop!”_

A sharp pain strikes through his temples, and Lance holds his head, hunched over and groaning. He tries to focus on breathing, as the pain spreads through his body. It’s still dark in the cockpit.

He looks up at the control panel and tries to reach for the comms, a screen coming back on. Keith is still standing at the feet of Blue; his Lion hasn’t moved.

“Wha-what?” Lance breaths out, he’s starting to feel dizzy.

Lance can hear Keith take a deep breath, “I’m sorry.”

The Blue Paladin watches as Keith places the fruit on the ground and Keith goes back to their camp. “Keith, wait there’s-AAUGH!”

He can’t take it! Everything is too bright and loud, and he feels like he’s seeing images in his head in fast-forward and rewind at the same time.

 

Suddenly it feels like he’s floating in dark, calm waters.

 

**…**

It was exhaustion. Being overworked. The remnants of a final battle are finally hitting Lance harder than anyone else on the team. That’s what put him in one of the healing pods. Coran is telling him that it is very common for the emotional effects of battle to take a delayed effect for certain personality types. He doesn't believe that. 

“Give him a few vargas, and he’ll be right as a huffle after a hibernation.” The red headed Altean laughs, twisting his mustache as he walks away from Keith.

Keith clears his throat, “Coran…”

Coran stops, and turns to him, “Hm?”

“When the others get back from Florana, let them know about Lance’s condition and tell them that we’ll be taking a break until he wakes up.” Keith tries to say in as steady of a voice as he can.

The older of the two winks, and gives a saucy salute before walking out the medical bay doors. They swish shut, and the room is still.

With a sigh, Keith turns to look at the healing pod. He feels guilty. The once Red Paladin should have noticed that Lance wasn’t being himself and done something to help sooner. He should have ordered a little 'R and R' before they went back into the fight against the Galra Empire. They were all too focused on finding Shiro and trying to get home.

He watches Lance’s vitals update on the screen on the healing pod. _Home, huh_. Keith can remember from their training together that Lance had…has a large family. He wonders what that must be like, knowing that so many people are there for you. Not just family, Lance has always been able to surround himself with friends. Keith pushes them away so that he won't hurt them. Then he hurts them anyways, by deciding to throw everything away when he loses yet another person close to him, to live alone.

Keith almost did it again, but at the cost of losing the closest thing to a family, he’s ever had. He kicks the stairs at the base of Lance’s healing pod, hard, and groans loudly at the pain in his foot.

He won’t ever let this happen again. He’s got to pay more attention! Be more focused!

Keith allows himself to look at Lance. The younger man is resting soundly and looks so relaxed. He can’t remember ever seeing Lance like this, so still and calm. The Blue Paladin was always moving around, and animated, even when he was being serious and focused.

He needs to leave, to train more, and calm down. He can't wait like this.

…

 

Allura seeks Keith out after helping the others tow the Blue Lion into the castle. She’s worried about him. Even though he’s taken the role as Black Paladin with grace, she knows that he must be struggling. This amount of responsibility is never easy. She even struggles from time to time, the way she treated Keith after they all learned that he was part Galra is proof. She still struggles with allowing him to pilot the Black Lion, all that time fighting against Zarkon and his betrayal of her father have caused her heart to harden. That hardness can’t be erased so quickly. No matter how hard she wants to, it feels as though she will always be suspicious in some way.

She walks into the training area, just as Keith throws his Black Bayard sword across the room with a shout of anger.

“Allura!” Keith sees her as the Bayard flies through the air reaching for it as if he could take it back. It nearly hits her, but she easily steps out of the way. “I-I didn't mean to do that!”

Allura reaches for the weapon only to have it disappear between her fingers. She meets Keith halfway as he walks towards her. “No harm was done. Though I would put the safety lock on the door the next time you need a little space.” She smiles at him.

The Paladin visibly relaxes and laughs a little. “Duly noted, your highness.”

She looks sad for a moment, and then looks away, stepping past Keith and into the training hall. With a broad gesture of her dark hand, she pulls up a screen. He can’t read most of the symbols, but he notices the room altering around them. “Let me show you something, that might help with your frustration.”

The large room darkens and suddenly comes to life. A vast forest of twisting trees extends around them. Two rings can be seen just through the canopy in the night sky, circling the planet. A light yet warm breeze flows between the trees and their branches, though no scent fills his lungs. It’s still, and yet thriving with life.

“I come here when I feel overwhelmed,” Allura says taking a few steps away to kneel on a bed of glowing moss. She smiles and encourages him to join her.

He does, sitting a foot or two across from her. He crisscrosses his legs in front of him, resting his hands on his knees. The younger stays quiet, sensing that the Princess has something to say, even though he itches to demand it out of her, but he knows that she needs space. Things are still tense between them, and though they were never close, he feels the distance between them as cold.

Allura smiles uneasily at him, unsure of how to continue. “Do humans meditate?”

Keith blinks at her for a moment, “Some humans do. I’ve been practicing it myself lately.” He frowns down at his hands. “Patience isn’t one of my strengths.”

She closes her eyes takes a deep breath through her nose, and slowly lets it out, rolling her shoulders. Then she looks back at Keith, “If you feel comfortable to try, I can guide you through it. We’ve had several rough quintents, and if you’d rather talk we can do that instead.”

The man sitting in front of her looks uncomfortable as he gazes off to the side, deciding what to do or say. She waits and watches the moss under her legs glow brighter and fade at an even pace. These forests used to be near her home. She would often sneak into them after a disagreement with her father or Coran. To get away from her anger or fear, or to just exist with no rules and limitations for a while.

She misses the sounds of Altea. How the plant life would communicate with one another through vibrations of sounds that were barely in her people’s range of hearing. One would have to be calm and silent to feel and respond to the sound of nature around them. She wonders if humans could even hear this simulation of her planet. 

“I don’t-” Keith hesitates for a moment, “Alright, I’ll try.”

Allura moves to stand before him, and for a tick, he thinks he’s said something wrong. “Find a relaxed position, and close your eyes.” Her voice slowly fades from commanding to soothing. Not using too much air to speak, but just enough that he can hear her without straining to do so.

He follows her instruction.

“Breathe deeply through your nose, and exhale while relaxing the back of your throat. Allow the air to have a small amount of sound as it enters and leaves.”

As he does so, he can feel the tension in his body relax in his shoulders. The sounds of the forest are slowly becoming audible to him. He can barely hear Allura nearby. She’s gone still, for a moment he feels embarrassed that she’s watching. He opens his eyes slightly to try and see her.

She’s kneeling on the ground again. With her eyes closed, and taking her own deep, steadying breaths. Keith shakes his head and tries to go back to himself.

“Make space for yourself, and your thoughts. The outside world cannot reach us here. Our troubles are free to come and go, without judgment. Let time slip by.”

Keith settles into his body again, allowing his head to drop forward a little. He breathes in and out. Allowing himself to see his friends and his mistakes, and letting them go. He is alright. They are alright.

 

_No, Lance is not alright._

_Shiro is not alright._

 

He can feel his eyebrows creasing in a frown as he pictures his fellow Paladins.

 

_You failed him. What if he never wakes up?_

 

Keith breathes in deeper this time and holds it at that irrational thought. Then he releases it forcefully. Trying to get the feeling of dread to leave him. Trying to make his mind silent.

There’s a sound of rustling plants nearby, but he doesn’t even react to it. His mind suddenly flooding with dark thoughts.

 

_You failed everyone. You’ll never find Shiro, and at this rate, you will lose everyone._

_You failed. Never find him. Lose everyone._

 

 

“Allow your mind only to linger on what you’ve been carrying. Imagine each idea floating away into the sky, like sparks from a fire.”

He inhales, seeing a fire burning at his core. The light is adding to the forest around them. As he exhales, he tries to let it all go. A few thoughts drift away, and the hardest cling to him.

 

_At this rate, you will lose him._

_YOU. ARE. A. FAILURE._

 

He tries to relax more.

 

“You are enough.”

 

 _What?_   His mind freezes at that. His throat hurts as he tries to swallow around the sudden pain surfacing within himself. He must have mistaken what Allura said. He’s too trapped in his worries.

“Let the weight you are carrying wash away from your shoulders.”

Keith lets the air in and makes it fall out. Then on the third try, he feels lighter. He can hear a faint hum surround him, and echo. His chest is aching less than it had before.

“Within this moment,” Allura continues slowly, “know that you are enough.”

His throat tightens again, and his eyes burn. He tightens his eyelids and forces himself to take a deep breath. It catches in his throat, and he wants to run. Before he can, he feels intent pressure on his shoulder stopping him from leaving. Just before he opens his eyes, there is another point of pressure on the center of his forehead. It causes him to freeze. Then it sweeps slowly to either side and ends at his temples.

 

He stops breathing evenly. Keith chokes on his own bitter and painful thoughts. 

 

“You have always been enough.”

 

Something snaps within himself.

 

He grabs onto Allura’s arms, he opens his eyes as tears streak down his face, and he shakes his head no at her. Keith feels so ashamed of himself, Allura does not need to see him like this. His troubles are nothing compared to her own. He should thank her and leave.

She only pulls him close and helps him move on.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Sings to the tune of "Friends" by Flight of the Conchords* Friends do mindfulness togeather~ La La LaLa!
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for reading this and the first chapter. I busted this one out because your Kudos and feedback motivated me to keep going. *cries* It made my day to see those, so thank you. 
> 
> I'll be stopping by once and a while to edit things as I go along so if past chapters change a bit it's because I too can't let go.
> 
> Stay kind and lovely!


	3. Hiding Real Intentions Underneath Attitude

Hunk is snacking on one of the neon blue and spiky fruit that they picked up from Florana as they wait for Lance to wake up. “This is soo sweet!”

The blonde young woman laughs out, “Slow down there, buddy, or you’ll upset your stomach again.” Pidge is typing on her new Altean laptop, flitting through vocab words and images.

“Nah, that wouldn’t happen. Simple sugars are easy to process.”

She rolls her eyes and stretches out on the floor, her back popping from poor posture. Pidge leans forward, reaching for a smooth red fruit. It looks almost wet with how shiny the skin of it is. She eyes it cautiously and sniffs it. The smell of strawberries and bananas rocket through her senses making her stomach grumble.

“Are these, safe?” she asks Hunk, wanting to shove the whole thing in her mouth.

He was finishing off the last of the spikes, sucking the pulp out, savoring it. “I doubt Coran or Allura would have eaten them if they weren’t.”

She squints at the fruit as if it might come alive and bite her finger. Then takes as small of a bite as possible. The same flavor and creaminess of a strawberry banana smoothie tingled across her tongue. She sighed contently and took a larger bite.

Pidge throws the fruit and jumps up holding her mouth.

“What’s wrong? Did you bite your tongue or—” Hunk stands to make sure she’s okay.

“HOT! HOTHOTHOT!” Pidge yells, trying to blow air around her inflamed tongue.

Then she screams even louder as arms wrap around her from behind squeezing her tight. “Aw, Pidge! And here I thought you’d never be attracted to me. Thanks, babe!”

 

The Green and Yellow Paladins cheer “Lance!” before wrapping him up in a huge hug. He laughs wholeheartedly as the air pushes out of his lungs.

When Hunk lets go of him, he goes to get their smaller friend some of his water. Lance looks at Pidge and tries not to laugh as she starts fanning her mouth with her hand. “What did you do?”

She just points with her other hand at the fruit near Hunk. Lance almost gets a snicker out, but he stretches and yawns to cover it up. The fake yawn is pulling a real one out of him. He extends one arm out in front of him, flexing the fingers, and an icy feeling flows through his nerve endings.

He opens his eyes just in time to see purple and blue lights floating away from his fingertips. “Ah?!”

Hunk and Pidge are staring at him and the lights and back at him. As the lights fade around them, the air feels colder. Lance looks at his hand, and he tries snapping his fingers. The lights popping and floating away as he does so. Pidge inches closer to take a look, her tongue sticking out still and she makes a startled noise. Covering her mouth and backing away and relaxing as if suddenly relieved from her pain.

“Whoa! Are you okay?” Lance moves closer but stops short of touching Pidge. This isn’t normal.

“Dude! How did you _do_ that?” Hunk says, “A little freaky, though, are _you_ okay?”

Pidge finally pulls her hands away from her mouth and grabs Lance’s hand. The shorter Paladin starts speaking so fast that he almost doesn’t catch what she means. “You made the reaction to the weird space-spice go away, and I feel less tired.” She was inspecting his palm, from back to palm. “Are you feeling okay? I wonder if this is a strange side effect from the pod. Some remaining healing residue maybe? Or energy?”

Lance pulls his hand away, feeling very queasy and stressed. “I’m alright. Just a bit worked up still.”

Hunk hands him a water bottle and his jacket. Lance is still wearing the long under armor that they put them in for healing. He pulls on the jacket, thankful for the comfort and ease of mind it gives him. As he sips at the water, Lance suddenly remembers what happened before he got here.

“How did I get here? What happened?” Lance bit his lip, not wanting to admit what he knew. Maybe it was a dream? His headache is gone, but he feels different somehow. “Where’s everyone else?”  

 

Then the med bay doors swish open, and both Allura and Coran enter. They are smiling the tick that they see him. Coran comes right up and clasps him on the shoulder spouting something about nothing like restful naps in the healing pods and how he used to sneak into them after all-nighters as a lad?

Lance doesn’t know, all he can focus on is Allura’s slightly red and puffy eyes. Had she been crying?

 

“Aw, Princess, I hope I didn’t worry you,” Lance says before he can stop himself. “No need to cry over me. See I’m right as rain!”

Allura laughs in surprise, and her expression grows fond. “Of course I was worried, you’re a dear friend.”

He laughs too, “Oooh, friend zoned. Can I get back in the pod; I need to mend my broken heart.”  Lance covers his heart dramatically and turns away while also covering his face with his free hand.

Everyone laughs, and someone pulls him out of his extra behavior and into another group hug. He honestly feels so much better. He must have just been overtired and hungry before. Defending the Universe does come at the cost of beauty rest. He feels silly and joyful now.

 

They all slowly part from one another. Hunk is cleaning up the food and supplies he brought with him. Pidge picking up her laptop, and her bag of gadgets that Lance is sure he’ll never get to see her finish. He shoves his hands in his jacket pockets and sighs.

Coran began to leave, saying something about making sure Slav wasn’t locking himself on the bridge again when Lance realizes that Keith isn’t here. Figures. Probably off brooding or polishing his stupid Galra sword or both.

Then he notices Allura staring at him, her blue eyes glowing with a pink hue. He backs away from her, shivering. As Lance moves away from Allura, the purple and blue lights float off of him like bioluminescent streaks filling the space between the Altean and the Human.

“Uh,” Lance almost starts to panic, “what the quiznack is happening?”

He pulls his hands out of his pockets and shakes more of the strange energy off his fingers. Then suddenly his tan hands are covered with darker ones, and Allura holds him still. “Breathe, Lance, you’re okay. I’ve got you.”

Lance tries to. Taking a deep inhale through his mouth and out his nose. He didn’t realize that his shivers have turned to shaking. Allura moves one hand from his and clasps the side of his neck where his shoulder meets. His nerves slowly start to ease up.

 

“Amazing,” Coran says in a hushed tone.

Hunk and Pidge stay silent close by, their eyes wide. Allura just smiles at him, in a kind and compassionate way. Lance has the feeling that he’s missing something awesome here. This situation is so not fair because, hello, obviously this awesome thing is happening _because_ of him.

“Wha—” his voice feels so worn out, “what’s going on?”

The Princess steps back, though she still holds one of his hands, to ground him he guesses because he’s still shaking.  Coran steps closer and squints directly into his eyes. The Altean holds his chin in thought. He ‘hmm’s and ‘ha’s for a little bit, sometimes grabbing Lance’s face to keep the younger man still.

Finally, the eldest Altean steps back, and smiles widely at Allura and then the rest of the Paladins. Lance feels suddenly alone and suspicious of a prank.

“I don’t know how, but you can wield magic, my boy.” Coran declares proudly.

Lance stares at him, his mouth open wide, “Shut up.”

 

Coran looks confused and put off. Then Allura steps in, “I didn’t think humans, though you are the first I’ve ever encountered, had the ability to do so.”

Pidge steps forward and pokes at Lance. “Hmm, we can’t. There has never been any scientific evidence that we can even influence energy remotely close to how Alteans do.”  

Lance smiles broadly. He doesn’t care how; this is cool as fuck. Hunk comes up next to him and wraps an arm around him. “Dude,” the larger man says, “now you have the magic touch.”

A loud and obnoxious laugh rips its way out of the Blue Paladin’s body, and he doubles over. Snorting in-between breathes and reaching to punch Hunk in the arm. Oh man, his eyes are watering too. “Come on man!”

The Paladins and the Alteans decide to leave the medical bay to round up some food before a late night. Lance doesn’t think he’ll be able to sleep with his new found abilities and the great nap he just took, but a full belly of food-goo might change that.

 

Keith doesn’t make an appearance. The Princess covers for the newly pledged Black Paladin, saying he over exerted himself in training. Lance shrugs it off, happy to be around friends again.


	4. You're Not Fooling Me

With the team informed that they’re on a shore leave, without ever actually pulling over the ship for a break, everyone moves on from the battle. Somehow this feels more like house arrest to Lance than a break. He’s bored as hell, and even though he has new found abilities, Allura and Coran say that he has to wait before they begin training. Of course the one time he’s looking forward to training, he can't. So, Lance wanders the halls and finally, allows himself to explore the Castle of Lions on his own. Something about finding his landmarks within his surroundings gives him ease. He likes that he can make a claim to each new area.

Or at least it would be enjoyable if the Castle didn’t have the same white and gray walls in every hallway. He bets it’s a form of tactical planning, that apparently failed considering how quickly their enemies reach the main bridge.

It kind of pisses him off. Not the Castle layout, that’s a welcome challenge. He’ll make a point to find some interior decoration, to liven up the place later. What pisses him off is the fact that Keith doesn’t even seem to care about him. The thought stings. Lance was hoping that they were growing closer. He guesses he should have seen it coming when Keith stopped rising to his bait and teasing. The other had a knack for shutting him down.

Like he even  _cares_   _about Keith_. He shakes his hands out, flinging magic dust around him in an arch. He tries tossing as much down the hall as possible, doing so is kind of stress relieving even if it only goes a foot or two.

He pauses. Stupid alien boy, taking up his mental energy.  _Why waste energy on someone who isn’t even aware of your existence?_  

 

Lance continues to walk and reaches another turn. Hunk is standing looking at a screen that is coming out of his Bayard.

“What are you doing?”  Lance asks, and the other man looks up and smiles as the smaller man walks up and looks at the screen.

Hunk laughs distractedly. “Did you know that our Bayards have the castle map inside them?”

Lance frowns and crosses his arms. “Yeah, I hate using it, though. What are you up to?”

The Yellow Paladin looks around sheepishly before answering. “Coran told me that they used to have something close to a fully functional hydroponics bay. I’m trying to find it.”

Okay, now he’s excited. They’d been eating food-goo for months now, and he could actually use some home cooked meals. The idea of sautéed vegetables makes him feel a little homesick again. He pushes it down and decides to join his friend on the hunt for greener pastures.

 

When they find the hydroponics bay, they’re amazed at the size of the place, though lifeless. The nutritional fluid that once fed the plants has long since dried up, and the machinery looks rusted and broken. Hunk still can’t seem to stop smiling, so Lance calls it a win. Besides, if anyone can turn a hopeless situation into a bright one, it would be the Yellow Paladin.

Hunk is excitedly telling Lance about his plans to start collecting seeds and plants from the planets they visit and start growing as soon as they get the materials needed to reboot the bay.

“I wonder if we could expand some of the plants around the Castle. Not, like, house plant style or anything. The cleanup would be a nightmare if we had potted plants rolling around. Some built-in planters, and maybe recycled water filtering around. The air quality would skyrocket, and relieve so much stress! Not that Altean air filters are lacking. Oh, maybe some planets have plants we can use for tea.”

Lance loves it when Hunk gets vibrant about things, “I had no idea you knew so much about gardening.”   
  
Hunk’s smile turns wistful. He looks into midair as he responds, “Yeah, I didn’t have enough time while in the Garrison. I wish they had focused more on it, you know; their food would have been better if they didn’t rely on replication so much.”

The pilot chuckles, “Yeah, their food was disgusting. Did you avoid their pasta? That stuff was not edible.”

They leave the hydroponics behind and make their way through the Castle. Hunk is still gazing off and reminiscing. “My grandmother taught me back home. We lived in a very humid climate, so growing was easy if fungus and root rot was avoided. There is nothing like a home-cooked meal straight out of the garden. Have you ever eaten something and tasted the sunlight?”

Hunk is looking at him now, with a calm and wide-eyed expression.

The Blue Paladin tries to remember, but he honestly can’t recall what his last meal tasted like. For years he would shovel his food into his face as quickly as possible so he could get back into the flight simulator or back to weapons training. He wishes he had his friend’s affinity for food and simple pleasures.  

“I bet it’s like tasting  _love_ ,” Lance says, smirking at Hunk and wiggling his eyebrows.

He gets a sore spot on his arm for that, and he laughs it off.

The two part ways so Hunk can go rally the troops to the food cause. Lance walks in circles, steadily growing anxious at having nothing to do. He doesn’t like being bored, too much time with himself. His mind tends to turn on him when there’s nothing better to do. Judgments on past mistakes, and planning for future interactions that would actually never happen. General mental grossness.

He decides to go train on his own with the combat simulator. A little exercise never hurt anyone.

 

…

 

It’s the third quintent of ‘Castle Lockdown Relaxation!’ out of seven. He played video games with Pidge for several hours and accidently fried one of the controllers. Pidge was a little upset and threw him out before she could get too upset. Lance knows that she’s getting antsy too, and he feels bad. He asked if they could go to the space mall so he could replace what he broke, and no. However, Allura did begin training with him, which was nice. He finally got a sound lesson on meditation, and she even taught him an energy channeling exercise that left him feeling sore and pleased.

He’s still anxious, though, and can’t shake the feeling that some Galra ambush is waiting around the corner. They’re wasting time. They have to find Pidge’s family and Shiro. He takes to scouting the rest of the castle and checking in on almost everyone to distract himself.

He’s so caught up in his aimless wandering and small tasks that he forgets to even focus on the path ahead of him. Staring at his feet as he walks. He doesn’t even notice that he’s entering the hanger where their Lions are kept until the feeling of Blue on the edge of his mind jolts him a little.

Lance looks up at her from across the room and smiles.  _Hey, Beautiful._ His smile grows at the psychic purr that hums through him.

Then he notices the Black Lion moving, and freezes. The head Lion kneels down opening its wide jaws and letting its passenger out.

 The two Paladins lock eyes for a moment. Keith is in full armor and that irks Lance a bit.  _So he gets to leave?_  Before he snaps at the other man, Lance looks away with a flippant, “Hey,” before he turns and walks away. He’s not ready to think about the other day, much less talk to his hotheaded stand-in-leader about it. 

“Hey, I was wondering,” Keith says, ever unaware of social cues. Lance wonders if he does it on purpose. He clenches his jaw, and continues to walk over to his Lion and is stopped by Keith asking, “How are you doing?”

Lance’s head hurts again.

_“Just dandy, thanks for asking.” The room is cold, and Lance is mildly proud of it. Keith is finally getting a taste of his own medicine._

_There’s a sigh of frustration from behind him. “I’d ask what’s wrong, but I doubt you’d tell me anyways.”_

_Lance turns around swiftly and glares at the other Paladin. “Then why say anything? If you really cared, then you wouldn’t have been,” Lance uses figure quotes, “’training’ while I was in stasis.”_

_Keith glares back at him, clenching his jaw taking a lungful of air before saying, “That’s not fair.”_

_Lance rolls his eyes, “And you’d know huh? Don’t bullshit me, man.” The other begins to counter, but Lance cuts him off. “Shiro would have been here more because he actually cares about us.”_

_He doesn’t have time to smirk at Keith or enjoy the other’s reaction because the Red Lion comes to life and growls in Lance’s direction. Then his anger boils._

_“Two Lions? Are you kidding me?” He storms right up to Keith and grabs at him. “Don’t you already have enough?”_

_Keith smacks his hands away, “What are you talking about?!”_

_“Then is Allura in there? I doubt she’d tag along with you being an asshole.” Lance wants to hit him so badly and tries to. When he does, magic flies out of his hand misses Keith and destroys a box of supplies nearby._

_Keith grabs both of Lance’s hands, “Where is this,” and tries to swipe his feet out from under him, “coming from? You need to calm down!”_

_Oh, that was it. Lance uses Keith’s grip on his hands and the momentum from his fall to leverage and kick the other Paladin across the room. Keith grunts as Lance’s feet connect with his torso and flip him over. The air had nearly been knocked out of Lance as he hits the floor and rolls to his feet while the armor-clad Paladin rotates into the fall and turns around to face him again._

_He pants as he stares Keith down. His hands feel cold, and he can barely see the glow around them in his peripheral vision._

_The ground shakes as Blue stands over him, snarling down at the Black and Red Paladin across the room. Lance comes back to himself a little when he notices Keith’s wide-eyed expression._

_Then the shame hits him almost immediately after he feels satisfaction at facing the other young man. He backs away and begs in his mind for Blue to get him out of here._

"Hey, I was wondering, how you’re doing.”

Lance starts shaking and feeling dizzy.  _What?_  His eyes feel heavy, and everything is too bright and in focus at once. He can hear Keith walking over to him, so he turns around, and his anger is back.

The Blue Paladin rolls his eyes, “And you’d like to know huh? Don’t bullshit me, man. I know you don’t care.” The other begins to counter in confusion, but Lance cuts him off. “I wish Shiro was still here,” he finishes under his breath, “and not you.”

Then the shame hits him almost immediately after, Lance turns to leave the way he came and doesn’t even look at Keith. He hears a crate of supplies break just before the doors close.

He feels sick and regrets what he said the tick that it left his mouth. It wasn’t fair, and he didn’t mean it. Not entirely. His head throbs again, and he thinks he overdid it the past few days. He thinks he’s losing it. Maybe he should just sleep it off.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god. Y'all are the best! Thank you so much for your interest in my fic. It means a lot. I know how tough it is to read a new and incomplete one, so you're the best! 
> 
> I have a lovely friend hooked, so maybe my errors will get caught more. Hugs to them!
> 
> Stay kind and lovely!


	5. And I’m Indulging You

Keith finally clears them for patrol duty and a trip to some nearby planets on day five, because he can’t take it anymore. He takes the most patrols, of course, and is barely around when the others get to go out. They don’t seem to mind or miss him too much. He feels calmer when he’s alone than when he’s socializing anyways. Allura and Coran express their worry that he might be pushing himself too hard, and he makes an empty promise to rest.

He feels guilty about distancing himself from the others, but he’s determined to keep them safe. He’s committed to being a better leader, like Shiro.

Keith runs his hands over the controls of the Black Lion and wishes he could reach out to his friend and pull him back to them.

Nothing.

He exits the Black Lion and takes the extra-long route to his room. Keith hasn’t been able to get to sleep easily for the past two quintents and isn’t looking forward to gazing at his nearly empty room for vargas either.

As he walks through the halls, he notices the small changes that were increasing as he went. Tapestries hang on the walls, small planter boxes built against the walls with tiny sprouts growing out of the false soil. He recognizes the soil in the planters from his studies at the Garrison. It was made to stay within its container in anti-gravity, and he marvels at the ingenuity of them for a moment. Tiny labels say if the plants would be edible or not. Most were. Keith guesses the tapestry fabrics came from the planets everyone has been visiting, noticing that they fit the color of their Lions and some others that must have been inspired by the Princess and her guardian.

The Castle of Lions was starting to look lived in for the first time in, what he would assume, ten-thousand years. Keith wonders if the Castle had really been undisturbed for this long. He smiled at the little victory his friends had made for themselves. He wishes he could contribute in some way.

The thought makes him sigh; he's never been good at making things. Maybe he could ask for advice? No.

He has to be the one to stay on task. The sooner they get momentum on finding their companions, the sooner they can all go home. The sooner he can start looking for his family, in the vastness of space.

Alone.

Keith wonders if his Galra relatives are even alive, or if maybe most of them are part of the collapsing Empire.

As he wanders the halls back to his room, he notices that it must be late. It’s quiet and calm. The decorations seem to have their roots in the living quarter of the ship because the deeper he walks into it, the more he sees. There’s also a new computer terminal installed into the wall close to Pidge’s room. He lets it be.

As he passes by Lance’s section of the living quarters, he does so holding his breath. The last thing he wants is to run into the Blue Paladin again. He’s afraid he would only make things worse.

Keith reaches his rooms and notices a little device laying outside his door. He picks it up and turns it on. A blend of Altean and English pop up on the screen in a green tint.

 

**_Thought this would be easier than using the comms when we’re in the castle. See ya!_ **

 

He types a reply and sees that his window comes up red and black and smiles. He enters his room and is struck by the starkness of the interior. He has no personal belongings beyond the essentials, what he had on him when they rescued Shiro and what was given by their hosts later.

He begins peeling off his armor piece by piece and placing them on top of the ridiculously high-tech dresser in the far corner. He changes from his under armor into his black t-shirt and the sleep pants Coran had rummaged out of storage. He sighs, feeling the weight on his shoulders pushing down and aching.

The sooner they all get back to defending the universe, the sooner they’ll get a lead on the resistance group. Hopefully, they haven’t scattered to the solar winds now that Zarkon is gone.

He finishes getting ready for bed and gratefully gives himself over to artificial gravity and sleep.  

 

It’s only been a couple of dobashes when the alarm sounds, ripping Keith out of his restful sleep and set his heart racing. He rushes to change into his armor again, shoving his helmet on his head in enough time to hear, “Paladins! We need you to form Voltron, QUICKLY, a few more ticks and we will not survive in this universe!”

Then the Castle of Lions gives a violent shake that causes Slav to scream over the comms.

Keith makes a frustrated noise and runs out of his quarters. The other Paladins are just ahead of him.  

“What’s going on?” he can hear Lance call, but no one answers.

They form Voltron and are immediately surrounded by Galra ships. Some ships are mere husks of the great fleet that they fought only months ago. Purple gasses leaking out into space, yellow lights shining through the haze.

It’s hard to see where the ships begin and end. Keith orders for the team to form their shield, and waits for the other ships to make the first move.

Half a tick and all the ships surrounding them fire at once. Voltron tries to get away, but not without taking a few blows.

He can hear the shouts of Hunk and Allura, as their Lions are rocked. His blood is pounding in his ears. They’re too easy of a target when like this, but if they return to their own Lions they could lose each other in the haze.

“We have to fly directly into the mass as Voltron!”

“Are you CRAZY?!” Lance calls, “There’s no way we can defend ourselves in there.”

Keith bites the inside of his cheek before he can tell Lance off. He knows the odds are small, but the odds are better going in rather than waiting out in the open like this.

“We’re going.” He pushes his controls, and they begin to head into the purple haze.

Then everything locks up, and a large beam of energy slices through space headed right for them.

The Lions have torn apart, and all he can hear are shouts and groans. He feels his arms go completely numb. He can’t move, and he tries to fight the panic down.  

“I-I can’t,” there’s suddenly a heavy weight on his chest.

The other Lions appear to be fine, Pidge and Hunk come to his aid. Covering him and blasting at the ships that suddenly began to swarm.

“Keith, we have to get out of here! Are you alright to pilot the Black Lion?” Allura calls, sounding out of breath and in pain.

“I,” he watches as ships transform and dig their claws into the Green Lion, ripping the armor off in chunks. Keith tries to move his arms and all that accomplishes is pain rocketing through them. Like electrified needles piercing directly into his bones.

“Hunk! Get these things off me!” Pidge calls in desperation.

The Blue Lion appears on his screen, freezing and exploding any ship in Lance’s expert sight. Then a live feed from Lance appears on his screen. Lance glares at him, and he can feel his own core ice over. The other Paladin’s hands are glowing. Somehow the energy is entering Keith’s Lion through the screen, and he can’t feel anything.

As hard as he tries he can’t make his body twist or turn. “L-Lance,” he grits out.

It isn’t Lance anymore.

The screen has been overridden. The battle freezes.

There is an alien on the screen. Pointed ears, long white hair, and purple skin. His eyes an acid yellow, making Keith’s skin crawl.

“Ah, there you are Paladins,” The alien’s voice is thick and smooth. “Well done, false leader of Voltron. You’ve brought your people to ruin. What a shame.”

Keith tries to speak, but then there is a cascade of explosions around them. All the Galra ships are being shot at and destroyed. There are ships from all over the universe weaving around them, taking out their enemies one by one.  

 

Then he’s standing alone. Nothing but nebulous landscape surrounding him.

“I’m disappointed in you.”

Keith whips around and sees his closest friend standing there. “Shiro, what are you doing here?!”

He moves closer to the other man, but Shiro has no warmness about him. “I was wrong when I said you could lead Voltron.”

The younger man feels like he’s had the air knocked out of him. “Shiro, I…I tried!”

Shiro advances on him with sharpness in his usually kind eyes. Keith backs up and loses his balance. He corrects himself in time to see that he’s been backed to a sharp edge of reality.

Shiro reaches out, “You didn’t do enough,” and pushes Keith over the edge.

Keith falls, reaching out to his friend only to be engulfed into blackness.

 

With a hard and unforgiving thud, Keith lands on the metal floor of his room. He groans, and his breath hitches as a sob threatens to escape him. He tries to untangle himself from his sheets violently. His arms numb from sleeping on them wrong. Tears are threatening to break free.

No!

He is not going to cry like a child. It was only a dream.

Just a dream. Shiro would never say that.

The Paladin pushes himself off the ground and focuses on his breathing.

He is enough.

Inhale.

He has to be enough.

Exhale.  

Keith will not let his friends die. They’re all he has. His breath catches again.

He takes a few quick and unsteady steps to the wall by his door. He punches it hard. Breathing harshly and not returning to a mindful state until he feels the pain in his knuckles. The skin is slightly bleeding with small abrasions.

Just great.

 


	6. You Know Exactly What You're Doing

Lance and Coran are sitting on the bridge. They’ve been sifting through the star charts and reminiscing about their home worlds. The Blue Paladin pulls up and enhances the image of Earth.  

“Well, how about that,” Coran stands and steps closer to the hologram. “You would think with all that water humans would have gills. Do some of you live in the oceans?”

Lance laughs, “I wish. I spent so many years in the ocean that my mom was convinced that I would grow a pair of gills and fins.”

Lance stands up and faces the Earth and ghosts his hand over it. Blue eyes are reflecting the light sadly. He’s tracing over one of the coasts fondly when the doors to the bridge open. He looks over and freezes.

“Oh! Hello, Keith, you’re up late,” Coran greets the other Paladin.

Keith says, “Hi, was just about to uh-” before he’s pushed further into the room.

“We were just looking for the two of you,” Allura says over his shoulder, leading him to the others. “See I told you they’d be in here.”

Keith frowns and turns to the Princess, about to argue but one of the mice on her shoulders glares at him and shake’s their head. He sees where this might be going. Those nosy rodents are always eavesdropping. The best security they could have, really, so he can’t be too mad.

“Hello Princess, you’re up too? What’s up?” Lance waves at the two, trying to keep the conversation going. He gets a little suspicious of the other Paladin and the Princess. They had been spending a lot of time together. It was really none of his business, but still.

The elder Altean gestures to the star map, “Lance was just telling me about Earth, and how his mother thought he would grow gills!”

Allura laughs, “Now that would be rather an improvement on his appearance.” She winks at Lance playfully.

“Hey! It’s just a figure of speech!” The Blue Paladin is giving a dramatic pout.

Coran places the sides of his hands on his own neck and wiggles them, making a fishy face. Lance flails at him, and they go into their routine of play fighting as Allura laughs.

Keith steps up to the map, reaching out to the waters and land masses. He doesn’t want to interrupt the other’s friendly banter. Keith worries that something will be said or done wrong. He’s still reeling from his nightmare. He doesn’t want to lose what little faith they have left in him.

Shaking his head, he turns the Earth around and sees where the Garrison is located, and not far from that is the small shack that he used to call home.

He turns to find Allura standing next to him, looking thoughtfully at where he was tracing his fingers. He pulls away, glancing at her before looking at the other Altean and Lance.

She makes sure that the others are distracted before she leans in and whispers, “You two need to talk.”

Keith shakes his head at her, but Allura tisks at him, “Don’t force anything, just trust in your bond as Paladins.”

The Black Paladin sighs at the new Red Paladin and nods before going back to the map.

Allura draws Coran and Lance into a separate conversation and not too long after, excuses both herself and her guardian. They all say goodnight to each other, and soon the doors shut out the conversation the Princess had started with Coran.

The air in the usually well-heated bridge cools, and the silence stretches on for too long. Keith thinks that Lance must have taken the opportunity to leave, and glances up to find Lance looking at him instead.

“You look like shit, man,” Lance says, and winces a little, realizing too late how he could come off.  

Keith looks flatly at him and sighs, “Thanks,” and before Lance could stumble over an apology, Keith says, “I’m sorry about the other day, Lance.”

The other Paladin stares at Keith and blinks, trying to wrap his mind around what he just said. Keith’s eyes are red-rimmed, his hair more of a mess than usual, and he looks exhausted. Lance wonders if Keith’s been pushing himself too hard lately. The realization that the weight of leadership must be taking its toll hits him. _Oh. I am such an asshole._

“Don’t worry about it; there’s nothing to be sorry for.” He smiles at Keith, waving it off.

Keith makes a frustrated noise and looks away. His eyebrows are creased and drawn up, making him look too vulnerable for Lance’s comfort. “Just hear me out.”

Lance doesn’t argue; he doesn’t breathe. He just stands still, only a few feet away from the Guardian of Fire. Waiting for the other Bayard to drop.

“I’ve been,” Keith searches for the words, not exactly looking at the star chart still suspended around them, “unfair to you since we first met. I thought things were getting better—that _I_ was getting better—but...”

Voltron’s leader hesitates, anger apparent on his features. Lance can see where it’s really directed now when before he would have been too sensitive to it. He would have thought that Keith was judging him in some way. Lance watches as Keith runs his hand through his black hair in frustration. For once, he doesn’t want to break the silence.

“I just want you to know, that whatever I have done to upset you, I am sorry.” Keith finally locks his blue-grey eyes with Lance’s bright blue ones.

The Blue Paladin is struck with how much emotion is there. Lance always thought Keith’s eyes were too sharp and calculating. He would avoid making eye contact whenever possible. He makes a point to try and keep it this time.

“Keith, thanks but you haven’t done anything,” Lance excuses, feeling uneasy.

“What?” Keith lets go of is hair, and takes a step forward.

Lance steps back, “I don’t think you’re aware of it, but…whenever you succeed at something or just, be awesome, it makes me feel useless. Like, why am I even here, ya know?” He’s rambling, and can’t stop it. He doesn’t want to, and he’s tired of holding all of this in. “Even in the Garrison, you were always one step ahead of me. Reaching my goals before I could. Getting praise for things that I thought I was capable of. Making me question every choice I’ve ever made. I almost decided to quit before you left.”

Keith doesn’t move any closer. He had no idea. He hadn’t known Lance beyond seeing him around the barracks or during training. Keith doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t feel like this should be something he has to apologize for, it’s not his fault Lance feels the way he does. Remorse seeps its way into Keith’s mind, remembering all of the times that Keith had shot down the other man’s achievements and comments in the past. Lance is not as arrogant as he had thought all those months ago.

“The last thing I want is your pity, okay?  I didn’t even exist in your world until the night we found Shiro, so don’t worry about it.”

Lance wants to walk away, and leave. This is ridiculous. He’s never felt so ashamed of himself. Shiro and Keith were once a hero and a rival to him. Images of what he wanted to become. Lance wants to be more like Keith, more calm, less sporadic. He wishes he could be a leader, and someone people could rely on.

“Okay,” the half-Galra says wrenching Lance out of his thoughts, “I won’t pity you, ever. You’re wrong about me, though.”  

When Lance looks back at Keith, the other man looks even more tired than he had before, but he’s looking at Lance in a way that makes him feel bare. Those cold eyes are just as intense as before and yet...different. He swallows and stands his ground.

“You’re as skilled and worthy of this as you think I am, if not more,” Keith gives a small smile, more eyes than anything.  “We would have never found Voltron and saved the universe without _you_ , Lance. I would have never found out who I am without that happening.”

Lance laughs uneasily, and Keith looks at him with confusion and tilts his head. Lance is trying to cover his mouth, but it just makes him snort and laugh louder. “I’m sorry, you just…do you like, have all of Shiro’s motivational speeches memorized or what?”

“Come on!” Keith tries to sound angry, but can’t. The other man looks like himself again. That brings him enough comfort to make up for the past week. “I should have blown your mind with that. We were bonding again!”

Lance smirks at him, “No, _I_ should have blown _your_ mind.”

Keith stares at him, and his pale face flushes a little. “What, I-I don’t,” he stutters, and Lance just chuckles, “Shut up, Lance!”

He steps into Lance’s space and swings at him, and despite himself laughs a little too. Lance quickly dodges and grabs the loose fist aimed at his shoulder. He feels lighter than he has all week.

When Lance grabs the other’s fist, Keith winces and pulls away, confused.

Lance anxiously thinks that he might have done something wrong. Used magic, maybe? But Keith just looks at his own hand with a sad expression holding it out in front of him and giving it a shake. Lance looks too and sees the bruises and cuts across his friend’s gloveless knuckles. There are white scars visible on them too.

“Dude,” he almost doesn’t realize he said it out loud until Keith looks up at him sharply.

The other pilot pulls his hand back to his side and shrugs. Lance rolls his eyes and grabs the other’s hand, pulling Keith closer again.

“Hey!”

“Shut up, and let me see.” Lance ignores how warm Keith’s hand feels on his own. He rests the other’s hand on his palm and turns it from side to side. He wants to ask how it happened, but the other’s defensiveness makes him push that urge away. “I’m going to try something, so don’t freak out.”

Keith tries to pull his hand away, but Lance tightens his grip and lifts his other glowing hand. “What are you doing?” He asks, suddenly feeling uneasy. He’d been briefed about Lance’s new abilities, but he’d only seen them activated when Lance was upset.

Lance takes a deep breath, “I’m going to try and heal you.”

He relaxes a little at that and doesn’t say another word. _T_ _rust in your bond as Paladins._

Brown eyebrows furrow in concentration as Lance stretches out two fingers and hovers them over the other’s paler hand. The glow fades and then focuses as he passes over each injured area.

Keith gasps, and Lance looks up immediately worried that he’s hurt him, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, it just feels strange. I think it’s working, though.”

It was, Lance smiles down at Keith’s half healed hand resting on his own. He brings his other hand back and starts again. He doesn’t notice at first, too focused on how fascinating the healing bruises changed in color, but Keith slowly tightens his grip on Lance’s hand.

“I’m sorry too.” Lance’s eyes drift away from his work for a second before returning, “I’m glad you’re here, Chief. We’ll find Shiro as a team.”  

Then, Lance finishes and slowly drops Keith’s hand. He smiles at his friend, before stretching and yawning.

Keith just hums out a laugh, “Thank you. I’d like that.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy! This was a tough two chapters. I hope ya'll enjoy them. Research for this show and its characters is fascinating and hilarious btw. Also, fair warning that updates are going to be slowing down more now because I have some RL responsibilities to see to. My goal is to finish this before season 3 airs. *crosses fingers* 
> 
> Let me know your thoughts and reactions, I live for it! ;)
> 
> Thank you for reading, and stay kind and lovely!


	7. Just Like You Always Do

When Keith enters the Lions’ hanger the next day, he is greeted by the sight of the other Paladins and Coran busily working. Usually he is the first person awake, and he wonders if he slept in by mistake. He checks his personal device and sees that it’s only half a varga past his usual patrol time. This doesn’t seem right. Maybe everyone is just getting ready before their leave ends.

Pidge is sitting in front of a terminal running diagnostics on their Lions while Coran double checks her readings. Lance and Hunk are going over the new supplies they picked up on their last run. They don’t turn from their work to acknowledge him. He’s thankful for that because he just wants to be alone. He wants to only focus on his duties and not the apprehensive feeling simmering in the back of his mind.

Allura cuts him off when he reaches the Black Lion. She blocks his path, hands on her hips and eyes narrowed. He notices that she’s in full Paladin uniform and his temper flairs a little at the idea of her tagging along with him.

“Is there something you need?” Keith says. He doesn’t quite have the energy or patience for small talk today. He feels a little betrayed for being manipulated the other night.

The Princess nods. “I need you to stay here while I take your patrols.”

Keith protests. “I can handle a few more patrols, Princess.” He stops himself from gritting out her title too late.

Allura sighs, and shakes her head. “Even though you are the Black Paladin now, I can still pull rank.”

He stops his rebuttal as she smirks at him, arms crossed and eyebrows raised. The others have gathered around too. It was a trap. He looks at his friends, dumbfounded. They’re all smiling and mirroring the Princess’s body language. He has the urge to fight, though he doesn’t. With a huge sigh, he raises his hands up in defeat and agrees to take a later one.

“Nope,” Hunk says, “That one’s mine.”

Pidge steps in, “Yeah. Lance and I have the mid-patrol covered too.”

Keith can’t help but feel a little lost.  They had two more days until their shore leave ends. Wouldn’t everyone else rather use that time as much as possible? Who knows when they’ll get a break like this again. “What about tomorr—“

“Chill, bro. We’ve got it covered.” Lance cuts him off. Keith’s irritability grows as Lance wraps his arm around his shoulders. The other man is just smiling at him like he’s in on some joke that Keith is missing. “Looks like you’re grounded, flyboy.”

He shakes Lance off of him, and the other just laughs playfully as he dodges a swat from Keith. The Black Paladin frowns at him for a tick and then turns to the others. The sensation of defeat is evident on Keith's features.

Pidge rolls her eyes, “Don’t look at us like that. It’s your fault for working yourself into the ground.”

Keith suddenly becomes aware of it. His body is heavy, and his mind is cloudy. He had only a few vargas of rest after talking with Lance last night. That was only because he decided to stay up well after the other Paladin had left, to file some mission reports. Lance had teased him about it. Saying that they were so far away from Earth that there was no point in following ‘Garrison Busywork Protocols.' Keith saw them as valuable though, what would they tell the Garrison once they got back to Earth? He wonders if they would believe them. The Garrison saw the Blue Lion, but the fact that they didn’t give Shiro a chance to explain when his return to Earth sat uneasily in his mind.

 

Now is not the time. The Black Paladin has no control over the future. He only has control over his choices right now.

 

The present is what is most important.

 

Allura stands up tall, and looks down at Keith, her royal training and command power showing. “I want you to get some rest and no physical training for two quintents. Understood?”

The Black Paladin surrenders with a forced smile, and bows sarcastically, “Understood.”

She nods and turns on her heel off towards the Red Lion. Leaving him to watch as she goes. All of the other Paladins return to their tasks. Lance walks past him, and shoulder checks him playfully. Keith doesn’t follow the impulse to turn around and yell at the other Paladin. So he turns back to Coran, who is smiling at him with a knowing look.

“You two patched things up I see.” The grin on his ally’s face is smug.

Keith just shrugs and tries to hide the discomfort he feels when the Altean steps past him to leave the hanger. Coran’s expression had looked melancholy just before the joking began. He wonders why, but lets it slide; the exhaustion must be playing tricks on him.

Keith decides to join the others in their work, but they shoo him away. Hunk says that he’ll have lunch ready once he and Lance finish up their inventory. The Blue Paladin is too busy counting odd looking bags of what Keith hopes isn’t exotic meats, to harass him any further.

He even tries to join the Green Paladin. Before he can even reach the edge of her workspace, Pidge tells him to go to bed because she can practically feel the lethargy seeping out of him.

So he leaves, letting his shoulders slump. Keith will not admit to any of them that he is anxious about sleeping. He does not want to face what his subconscious has waiting for him. However, he knows that if he waits too long the reality of letting the others down will hurt more than his nightmares.

Keith tries to break into the training hall, not to physically train with the simulator. He tells himself that going for a light walk in the simulated jungles of Altea would not count. Doing so could help to calm his mind, tire himself out enough to not dream.

The mice are at the door though.

He could easily step over them, but they hold their ground. All five of them glare at him from below. The larger one waves a paw at him in a less threatening manner. He can’t help but shake his head fondly at tiny Defenders of the Universe. Keith knows that if he did get past the mice, that he’d have to answer to Allura, and that was a battle he’d rather avoid.

Back to bed, it is.

 

…

 

 

Hunk checks up on him mid-quintent with lunch for both of them. He feels remorseful when he answers his door, having passed out the tick he touched his sheets. Not even aware of the time he must have wasted for the other Paladin. He hopes the others weren’t waiting. They all usually had meals together, even if they were busy with projects or traveling to different quadrants to fight Zarkon.

The food smells amazing, and Hunk is radiating excitement and warmth. Keith can’t believe that he is eating space produce. The flavors are so familiar that they surprise him with memories of home with each bite. Part of him wonders if they had stopped by Earth without telling him.

The Yellow Paladin laughs and tells him to slow down before he chokes because Keith is trying to shovel as much of his food into his mouth as possible. He doesn’t know if the stress is getting to him, or the fact that he’s missed real food this much, but he starts gushing his appreciation.

“This is delicious, Hunk,” Keith says, as he savors his next bite, “Thank you.”

The larger man gets a bit bashful and tries to wave the compliment off. “Nah dude, it was nothing. As much as I can dig food-goo, I still can’t shake the time it betrayed all of us.”

Keith laughs as Hunk once again recites the scariest time in all of their adventures. Coran must be rubbing off on the other Paladin because there are a few added details that he’s sure defied the laws of physics.

As they finish their meal, he makes a mental note to help with the hydroponics bay. Keith asks the other Paladin about his plans for it, and what needs to be done while the other is out on patrol.

Hunk squints at him and smiles. “You’re not trying to get out of resting are you?”

Keith stutters out, “I-I, No! I just—I want to know for the future,” he calms down a little, “because this is a boost in morale for all of us, and having the Castle of Lions self-sufficient will be a great asset.”   

He expects Hunk to laugh at him, but the other man just listens intently. There’s a moment of silence as he watches Hunk sift through his thoughts.

“Thanks, man, and don’t worry about it.”  

Even as Keith yawns and stretches between topics, Hunk can’t help but feel protective. The Yellow Paladin knows that the other is trying to stay awake. The little rest his leader has gotten from this morning, and a full meal has improved his demeanor, though hardly made a dent in the slow movements in his body language.

 Keith notices that Hunk is watching over him but doesn’t say anything. He wonders how obvious it was that he had nearly run himself into the ground. He can’t believe that the others so readily took on responsibilities of their own. Shiro would be proud.

“You miss him too huh?”

Keith is startled out of his thoughts. “How…”

Hunk plays with his fork, not looking Keith in the eye. “You’re not as stoic as you think you are.” He doesn’t let Keith refute that, “Listen, we can see that you’re pushing yourself to keep us all safe, and I can’t speak for the others, but it makes me worry. I miss Shiro too, and I think we all do. He’s what kept us on track and helped everyone strive to be better than we ever thought we could be. We all want him back, and we were so blinded by wanting him back that we weren’t taking care of each other. You know, and I just, augh!”

Hunk leans over and rests his face in his hands. Keith stays still for a moment as Hunk’s frustration and pain start showing. He can hear the other man sniffling a little, so he gives Hunk a moment.

They’re sitting on the floor, backs resting against his bed. His room feels cold and empty, and having someone else in there eases that tension he hadn’t noticed that he was holding before.

“Shiro would be proud of you and the others,” Keith says slowly. “I…hmm. The changes that you’ve made to the castle have brought the team closer. We are making progress, in finding him and growing as a team…I forget how far we’ve all come sometimes.”

The Guardian of Earth looks at him with wide brown eyes. “He’d be proud of you too, Keith. I know that you didn’t want to lead Voltron, but you’ve done a better job of keeping us on track than I think anyone else could. Thank you for that.”

Keith can’t hold his gaze as the other speaks. He’s feeling a little embarrassed at the amount of emotion behind his friend’s eyes. Hunks words are like a balm on his troubled heart. This man was too kind and too willing to heal others at his expense. Keith wishes he could return the favor somehow, but fears that he’d fall short in comparison.

He continues, letting himself speak without too much planning, “I appreciate that you take care of us, Hunk. It means a lot that you’ve trusted me all this time, even though we’re not as close as you and the others.” He struggles to find the words for what he’s feeling. There’s no way he can ever hope to repay the other for all he’s done. “I’m glad to have you as a friend, even though it took finding a Giant Robot Space Lion and an intergalactic war to make it finally happen.”

Suddenly Keith finds himself surrounded by warmth and strength. Hunk hugs him tightly, “Galra-Keith is too precious for this universe!” He can’t even cringe at Hunks running jab at his biology.  “I’m so glad we’re friends too, man! You’re such a badass. Every time I get really freaked out I just think to myself ‘What Would Keith Do?’ and then I blow that. Shit. _Up!_ ”

 

They laugh obnoxiously with each other. The amount of affection pouring off of the other Paladin washes away any worry he still clings to.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> D8 
> 
> I am so stressed, you lovelies have no idea. Send help. noI'llBeOkayThough!
> 
> Thank you all for the lovely comments and kudos! Seeing your interest is keeping me going outside of writing this fic. I hope you like this chapter and the next ones to come. 
> 
> ;) Stay Kind Star Shines!


	8. Your Words Bring Out the Worst in Me

The sound of rushing water fills his ears and turns into white noise. His thoughts are covered, drowned out. He allows himself to feel the air and mist. He just wants to exist here for a moment.

Keith and Allura decided to end their last afterquin of shore leave with a long meditation session. He enjoys these quiet moments with the Princess and appreciates that they no longer feel a need to fill the silence. Conversation flows naturally, for the most part. Keith still is not comfortable with opening up about himself or his emotions. Airing out negative or positive feelings too often seems to be a waste of time. He doesn’t want to add to the other’s worries.

He can feel his brows creasing as he focuses too much on his thoughts again. Keith lets himself stay within his negative emotions; he wonders if he’s been avoiding this topic for too long. His chest feels heavy with it.

Over the past week, he’s had more emotional outbursts and heart-opening conversations than he can ever remember having. Even though his father was a happy and open individual, always wearing his heart on his sleeve, Keith never seemed to pick up on how his father made vulnerability look so easy.

Keith doesn’t regret any of the interactions he’s had with the others lately. They’ve been through a lot and had to adjust to an entirely different view of the universe. Had to fight in a war that they never knew was happening and never saw as a threat. To defend a home that probably thinks they’re dead. It was a matter of time before something gave, so natural that they would vent these worries in some way.

He is surprised that all of them have been handling these mind-blowing situations so well. Not many people can handle changing their views on humans possibly being the only intelligent life forms for billions of light years, to suddenly being surrounded by intergalactic diversity, this quickly. The language translator from the Lions’, or “Quintessence Communications” as Coran calls it, helps more than Keith can fathom. He doesn’t know how he would react if he’d met any of the other less humanoid lifeforms before the others and couldn’t communicate.

Not many can handle being so far away from home this easily. They have it lucky. Meeting Allura and Coran first made the transition easier to swallow. Even though there have been a few hiccups, all of them became a family.

 

“UM YOU GUYS!?”

Keith is thrown out of his thoughts as the emergency comms blare through the training hall.

 

 He stands swiftly and shares a worried look with Allura who looks as off balance as he feels at the moment. She closes down the simulation, and they both start making their way out of the training hall.

“Pidge are you alright?” he asks, striding at a steady pace towards the exit.

“That’s a—” there’s interference over the comms, and he can hear the other Paladin grow more frantic, “NEGATIVE!”

There are sounds of laser fire and metal scraping echoing through the halls of the Castle. The Princess and the Black Paladin start running. Keith clenches his jaw. They shouldn’t be near hostile Galra space. He hopes that this is not an ambush. “Coran, Slav! What is the status of the Green and Blue Lions?” He calls, sliding into the armory and rushing to dawn his extra armor.

“There is major interference coming from a stellar nursery and a distant pulsar; we cannot get a visual!” Slav frantically replies. “The readings suggest that we won’t—”

“Lance is not responding to hales!” Coran interrupts, “You three better hurry!”  

Hunk joins them in their rush to aid the others. “I know that I say this a lot, but I have a bad feeling about this!”

 

…

 

Pidge’s labored breathing is the only thing audible over the comms when the others arrive. They’re all stunned by what they see. There are no Galra ships in sight. The only thing surrounding them is the purple and yellow solar winds from the gasses expelled within the stellar nursery. The blue light of the pulsar throwing sharp rays across the other Lions. The Blue Lion is scorched from blasts that Keith recognizes only as damage created by their Lions. The Green Lion is equally worse for wear, ice and scorch marks marring the armor plating.

 Blue is also bound in the Green Lion’s vines, thrashing wildly. Snapping at itself and scratching at its armor. Keith fights back the urge to be sick; he can’t speak around the knot in his throat.

“Whoa, what happened?” Hunk breaks the silence.

The Blue Lion abruptly stops moving; its eyes locked onto the others. Then, so slowly that Keith doesn’t notice, the vines freeze and shatter. The Blue Lion rushes them shooting a blast at the others and flies directly for the Red Lion. The distorted snarl runs through their links with the Lions.

They dodge the blast and Keith maneuvers the Black Lion to quickly cut off the Blue one. He nearly loses his grip on the controls with the force of the other Lion colliding with his. Pain stabs into the old wound in his shoulder. He adjusts the controls, making the Black Lion bite onto the Blue Lion, and then spins and tosses the other Lion away.

The Lion spirals into the nebula disrupting the haze collected there. Then only a pair of glowing eyes distinguishes the Lion from within the clouds. The Paladins of Voltron hold their ground. Neither one is daring to move. Their leader looks around the friendly fire zone for any clues as to why his friend is attacking them. Frustration burns as nothing can be made of this situation.

 

“What is wrong with you?” He calls over the comms.

 

A live feed from Lance appears on his screen. Lance glares at him, blue eyes glowing unnaturally bright. Keith feels a chill run down his spine. The other Paladin’s hands are also glowing. Somehow the energy is entering Keith’s Lion through the screen, and he can’t do anything other than watch Lance’s face twist in disgust. 

 

“Nothing,” Lance answers in a neutral tone.

 

Then his Lion pounces out of the haze onto the Black one with a savage roar. Metal claws are scraping across the hull. Keith tries shaking the other Lion off, but Lance somehow finds a way to latch onto the wing blades. He can hear the metal groaning under pressure. Then the Yellow Lion body slams into both of them. Knocking the Blue Lion away, Keith has time to check his Lion’s status. Everything looks alright, damage minimal. He has to come up with a plan. They can’t communicate if Lance can hear them. He tries to reach the other with the bond they all share, but he only sees blackness. So he hopes the other’s will follow his lead. Something has to get through to the other Paladin.

 

“Lance,” Keith says in as calm of a tone as he can. Piloting the Black Lion in a slow arch around the Blue Lion, a semblance of the formation they fly in before forming Voltron. “We’re not here to hurt you. What happened?”

The Blue Lion faces him and follows his arch slowly, defensively. The others join in slowly from behind. Lance scowls at Keith there is so much anger and disgust radiating off of the other Paladin that Keith pains. Something about Lance’s new abilities must be affecting the other somehow. Maybe this wasn’t a good thing after all.

 

The flight pattern is tense as the other Lions slowly bracket the Blue one into the formation. Keith hopes that by forming Voltron, the Blue Lion will fall out of Lance’s control again so they can get him back to the Castle.

 

 Pidge breaks the silence. “We were just doing our patrol,” she sounds apprehensive, “and then I yelled at him because I wanted to go back to the abandoned base we found. He said that if we did that then—AH!”

The Blue Lion growls and breaks away from the others to attack the Green Lion again. An ice beam rockets out of the Lion’s mouth and connects with the side of its target. Pidge cries out with the impact, her Lion spinning in a tight circle with the force of it.  Pidge fights the controls, trying to get out of the way of the still advancing Lion. She can’t move though. The ice covers most of her thrusters.  

The Red Lion intercepts the Blue Lion, swiping at the head of the Blue Lion hard enough to rock the cockpit. Lance shouts and groans with the blow. Hunk helps stop the spinning Green Lion and breaks off the ice. Then Allura goes at it again with the other paw. And again.

 

“Allura, stop!” Keith commands. “Everyone, pin down Blue!”

 

The Black Lion’s quintessence vibrates through Keith.

**_Go to him, Fire Paladin._ **

 

 

Keith makes sure his helmet is secure, and his Bayard shield is ready. He takes a few deep breaths as he watches as the others work on holding the other Lion still. He maneuvers the Black Lion to join them. The eyes of the Blue Lion and the eyes of the Black Lion align, and begin to glow a bright, harmonizing, white.

He takes that as his cue. Exiting the Black Lion, he uses his suit’s boosters to reach Blue; its jaws begin to open wide. He can hear the other’s and Lance speaking over the comms.

“Let me go!” Lance calls. “You can’t—”

Allura pleads, “Lance, it’s going to be alright. We’re trying to help you.” Her voice wavers as she talks to him.

Hunk and Pidge state their agreement, as Keith enters the Blue Lion. He can see everyone on Lance’s screen. All of them worried about their friend, Keith wants to take away the fear in their eyes, but the Black Paladin feels it too.  He hopes that he can snap Lance out of this.

 

**_Reach Him._ **

Lance feels a hand on his shoulder and flinches at the warmth of the contact. He turns to see who it is and sees Keith standing over him, anxious and cautious.

He hates it.

“Hey,” Keith says calmly. The Blue Paladin is hit with a wave of dizziness before everything snaps into focus.

_Lance smacks the other Paladin’s hand off of his shoulder. He doesn’t answer Keith and doesn’t look at him. The screens are turned off, and it’s lowly lit inside of Blue. He just had one of the worst arguments with the other Paladin in front of everyone. Tears and all. He wanted to be alone, to process all of the new information that just ran him over like a fucking train, but no._

_It has only been a few vargas since they found the rebels, and there’s already a suicide mission ahead of them. Well ahead of Keith. He doesn’t understand why they have to risk losing another friend just to save Shiro. Couldn’t they all go? Wouldn’t that be safer?_

_When he realizes that Keith hasn’t left Blue, he looks at him. Keith is leaning against the side of the cockpit, arms crossed, with a troubled frown on his face. Stormy eyes look up and lock onto sky blue ones. They stay that way for a moment. Lance struggles to find what he wants to say; he doesn’t want to fuck this up. He looks away with a sigh. The other man doesn’t move or say anything, waiting._

_What if he does mess this up and something happens? No. Keith can get anything he wants, so he’ll find Shiro and return without a scratch. They’ll be a full team again. Lance can’t help but laugh at himself. He’s going to jinx it by thinking so positively. Lance can’t shake the feeling that this will be the last time he can speak with the other Paladin. What does he say though? Lance thinks his feelings in their argument were valid. He doesn’t want to lose anyone else to this stupid war._

_The Blue Paladin moves quickly to stand in front of the soon to be Red Paladin. He goes to reach out to the other but hesitates, dropping his arms to his sides. Then he is suddenly wrapped in a tight embrace. Keith’s pale arms synch around his lower and upper back. Lance can feel his rigidity ease a little as Keith rests the side of his head on his shoulder._

_Lance awkwardly returns the embrace for a tick. When he moves to let go, Keith’s grip tightens around him. With a shaky breath, he wraps his arms around the other’s shoulders and stays there for a while. Slowly allowing himself to rest his cheek against the other’s head._

_“Don’t—“_

 

They both wake up and stumble out of healing pods. They are immediately bombarded by their friends with worried questions and hugs.  Keith and Lance share confused looks from across the room.

 

 

 


	9. You Will Now Prophesize

Lance breaks eye contact with Keith as delayed embarrassment from the…vision creeps into him. He doesn’t have a chance to feel mixed up about it because Pidge is now pulling him down to eye level by the collar of his under armor. His memories of attacking her flood back, and he feels the blood drain out of his face.

“Pidge, I—”

“No. Explain what happened.” She says in a measured tone, her hand tightening on his shirt.

He only finds it safe to breath when Allura comes to Pidge’s side, and rests her hand on the other Paladin’s shoulder. The smaller woman lets go of Lance and only shoves him away from her personal space a little.

 

“He need not explain.” The Princess says, sounding forlorn. “I do.”

Everyone turns to her with a chorus of denials and exclamations. She stands there, her head and shoulders slowly drooping. Keith steps to stand at the Princess’ side.

“Let Allura speak.” He commands in a harsh tone.

 

The silence in the room permeates with the sense of unease flowing between them. When Lance swallows, it sounds unusually loud. Sure, he’d like some answers, but how could the Princess know what’s going on? He’s just…losing it. He should have known that he wasn’t cut out for active duty, let alone an intergalactic active duty. Before he can stop himself, he’s backing away from the group.

An arm around his shoulders stops him, and he looks over to see Hunk’s grave and worried expression.

He stays.

 

The Princess steadies herself. Coran is also standing beside her and looking as solemn as his charge.   

“I did not believe it was possible until you,” She looks up at Lance, and holds his gaze for a moment before continuing, “started to develop magic wielding abilities. However, the events that have unfolded over these few days have only proven my theories.”

Everyone is quiet as they wait for her to continue. She looks at them all slowly, and with a smile building on her features.  

 “The bond between the Blue Lion and Lance’s soul have begun to harmonize. This has not happened since the first Blue Paladin."

 

Lance can hear everyone release the air they had all been holding in relief. He doesn’t feel at ease though, and he shrugs Hunk’s arm off of him. He looks at the floor and tries to ground himself in some way. He can sense everyone looking at him, and he knows that he’s making things difficult. Shouldn’t he be allowed to though? This involves him and has been affecting his already distressful life.

“Tha-at,” his voice wavers, “can’t be it. How does that explain why I lost control and attacked Pidge and everyone else? I’m—I don’t know!”

He chances a glance at his friends to see if they’re listening and judging him. He wishes that he could trust all of them more. They’d been through hell and back. He just doesn’t want to lose them.

When he does look up, he is greeted with concerned and patient expressions. Lance swallows around a sudden lump raising him his throat. His watery blue eyes look anywhere besides them. The healing pods, the ceiling, and even his clothes. He feels the chill of the room and wishes that someone had brought his jacket again. He wishes he had something to do with his hands. He fidgets a bit and continues.

“I-I,” He sighs, “didn’t want to bring it up because I thought I was just stressed. Bu—uht—DAMN IT!”

He’s crying and the pain that has been coiled in his chest over the past few days feels sharp. His mental wounds feel fresh and sting with each breath. No one interrupts him. He’s both thankful and embarrassed by that. He doesn’t cry in front of people, too many years being teased by family members for how easily he cries had trained him to keep that private.

“I keep having these weird dreams.” He begins to rush, “Only they’re not dreams, because I’m awake, and they overlap what I’m doing and sometimes line up, and then I can see things happen before they actually happen, and I can also see what won’t happen because I’m not the same person in the v-visions?!” His speech gets cut off by a series of hics as he tries to gasp around sobs, “And then, I’m like—is this what Slav feels like—I don’t—want to be Slav! No offense to the guy—he—he’s a genius, but I can’t live my life always avoiding—cr—acks and seeing all the bad outcomes in all of the—the universe!”

 

Suddenly he’s wrapped up in someone’s arms. He recognizes the Altean fabric of the Princess’ dress, and his guard just collapses. Her hug is motherly as she rubs circles over his shoulder blades. Allura is humming softly, and the others are slowly, calmly, giving him encouragements.

There is a pause as the others allow him a chance to catch his breath.

Lance cries and says so quietly that he’s not sure even Allura can hear him. “Am, am I going crazy?”  

The Altean runs a hand over his head and steps back. She holds on to his shoulder and wipes away his tears with the sleeve of her gown. “No, please don’t ever think that. You are quite sane, for the most part, and even you cannot be as…taxing, as Slav.” He laughs a little through his remaining tears and worries. He laughs even louder as Allura pinches his cheek in a teasing manner. “What you are experiencing is natural for the Guardian of Water. Like water, time flows, and like a river, the Guardian of Water exists in the past, present, and future all at once.”

Lance stares into Allura’s blue and pink eyes. He doesn’t understand. How can _this_ be normal? He gently pulls away from her in his confusion and tries to piece it together.

“You are a Wayseer, Lance.”  She says as she lets him go.

 

Everyone is silent. Keith feels a tinge of annoyance at this; he didn’t understand Allura’s explanation. There is no way that a human being can develop these abilities out of nowhere, quintessence and advanced alien science aside, people of his planet have never had creditable abilities like these.  

Even so, he can’t deny that Lance had healed his hand a few days ago. He also cannot deny what he saw and felt before waking up in the healing pods.

“So, was the…vision that Lance and I saw was some kind of glimpse into the future?” Keith steps closer to the group. He ignores the flush threatening to rise to his cheeks.

“Oh! So you can see them too?” Coran chimes in, a smile on his face. “This is exciting.”

 

The Yellow Paladin scoffs, “Uh no, _I_ don’t think this is exciting. What is actually happening here? Do you really expect us to be like, ‘Oh magical Lion powers! Sweet! Let’s continue to save the universe even though my physical and mental well-being is changing!’ I don’t trust it.” The larger man crosses his arms in stern disapproval of the current situation.  “Are we all going to start developing weird alien powers now?”

Pidge chimes in, “Well, it would only make sense. As we unlock more and more abilities with our Lions, our minds become more interwoven with their souls. I unlocked my ability to connect to the forest on Olkarion, and now I can do similar things to other forms of plant life.”

Keith looks at the Green Paladin with surprise, “When did you figure this out? And why didn’t you say anything?”

Pidge looks a bit put off by his tone. “On Floranna. I thought it had just been the modifications I made to my helmet based off of the neurotechnology that the Olkari had developed. But when I got a chance to look at the data, I realized that I had miscalculated. The device only works on Olkarian based flora.”

Hunk shrugs, and looks over at Coran and Allura. “That doesn’t explain why or how this is happening. Are we going to have these abilities for the rest of our lives?”

Coran shakes his head, “No. The more in-depth skills will only be at full strength when you are in the same planetary range as your Lion. The Psychic bond is what allows these powers to be shared. For some, the range varies. The Black Lion’s Air abilities link to the Paladin that is bonded to them. So, the will power of their Paladin is what determines the lasting effect of the abilities.”  

 

Keith doesn’t focus entirely on the conversations happening around him. He’s too distracted by Lance’s shoulders shaking as the other man tries to cover up his hitching breaths. Lance is trying to wipe away more tears that leak out from his eyes without drawing too much attention to himself. The Black Paladin looks about for their belongings that he’s sure Hunk must have brought for them.

 

Allura attempts to explain more clearly, but the med bay doors swish open, and a blur of hyperactive blue fur enters.

“Oh good, I’ve found all of you.”

Then Slav exits.

Everyone stares at the doors, and then each other. Then the doors open again.

As they open and the alien scientist enters stating, “I’ve meant to say something to you.”

He exits again.

They wait for a few more ticks and the doors open again as the Slav slowly steps over the threshold. Only to turn around and leave the room again. The collective groans are going unnoticed.

When he finally does enter the room, he looks back at the door as he comes in and watches it close behind him. Then he looks back at the group.

“Am I interrupting something?” he says in distress, seeing varying degrees of annoyance on the other’s faces.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awww! You are all sweet little star shines and you are all the best! I am so glad that so many of you like this. 
> 
> Thank you again for leaving comments and Kudos and BOOKMARKING OMG!! If you're a lurker, I love you too, and I know that jazz so no worries. 
> 
> More to come, huns!


	10. You Twist the Knife So Easily

 

 

“Oh no!” Slav exclaims before anyone can answer. “This is the universe where you throw me out of the team, and I get captured by the Galra again!” The second smallest of the group scrambles about and makes to leave, starting his routine with the doors again.

Coran goes to the other engineer quickly. “No, no! Nothing like that is going to happen.”

Slav calms down, slightly, backs away from the exit of the medical bay. Allura ushers their ally into the room with a patient smile. Slav quickly becomes roped into an energized conversation that makes the Paladins feel like a bunch of children as adults discuss them in the same room.

 

Finally, Keith finds a small bag of his and Lance’s belongings inside. Just a mix of their sleep attire. It hits him that the others are all dressed down. How long had they been out? He makes his way over to Lance as Allura explains their discovery and the conversation they were all having before Slav showed up to their ally. Hunk and Pidge can’t take the exclusion anymore and jump into the discussion with their experiences and worries.

 

“Oh, I see,” Slav responds. “There is no need to worry about these influences leaving lasting damage to your physical being. Mental, however, I cannot say for sure.”

Allura and Coran collectively groan and play clean up duty on the last statement.

“We assure you that these abilities are part of the bond, and will only last within it.” The Princess soothes.

Coran jumps in excitedly. “Yes! Remember when Allura said that the bond goes beyond scientific explanation? These new skills are it!”

The Green and Yellow Paladins look at the Alteans skeptically. Pidge is mumbling something about how they just needed to look further into it. Hunk argues that any change outside of what their species has faced naturally cannot be right. The group continues to console and debate with one another.

 

Lance wraps his arms around himself in a vain attempt to warm up, and calm himself. He’s at the back of the group and wishes he could just disappear even though everything is alright. The Blue Paladin is unable to find any measure of excitement at the discovery or even fear. He feels mentally numb and physically in pain from his headache.

Exhaustion hits him suddenly.  

For a second time he tries to slip out, but the feeling of fabric wrapping around his shoulders startles him out of his thoughts. He flails and turns around to figure out what’s going on, and nearly trips on his robe as it slips.

“Easy there, moody,” Keith says in a hushed tone, catching the other by the shoulder and letting go once Lance finds his footing again.

“What did you just call me?” Lance just blinks at the darker haired Paladin. Keith is giving him an amused smile, and it doesn’t sit right with the Water Paladin.

He looks away to see if the others are watching them. Then he chastises himself for it. Why is he so paranoid right now? They’re not even aware of them, well, except for Coran who only gives Lance a smile before turning back to the conversation. What is that about? Coran has been giving him odd signals whenever Keith is involved, and it’s starting to piss him off. Lance wonders if Coran has known about these abilities all along, and was keeping it from them for his amusement.

Pidge is adamantly arguing with Hunk about how this will only make them safer when they go on missions outside of their Lions. The Yellow Paladin is slowly yielding though not without more facts.

“Oh, nothing,” the slightly deeper voice to his right teasingly lies to him, wrenching him out of his paranoid spiral.

“Don’t ‘ _Oh nothing’_ me, mullet.” Lance refuses, as he shoves his arms through the sleeves of his robe and ties it off.

Keith doesn’t counter him and shrugs his black t-shirt and pants over his under armor. He hands Lance the bag with the rest of the Blue Paladin's clothes in it. The other takes it and then drops it on the ground. The Black Paladin glares at the smirking Blue Paladin for a moment.  

 

Then Slav suddenly rushes up to Lance, who can’t help the startled yelp that escapes him. Keith just steps aside and watches with a smirk. _Oh, I’m going to wipe that stupid—_ Lance tries to back away only to find Slav’s many hands grabbing at him.

“So _you_ are the Wayseer.” Slav stretches as tall as he can to get a good look at the human in front of him.

“Y-yeah,” he clears his throat, “Yes, I am!” His false confidence falls short as the alien holding onto him gets a distant look in his eyes. “Um?”

He can hear Hunk stifle a laugh.

Slav finally comes back to reality, “By my calculations, our odds for success are now 2,028.7 to 1.”

“Huh,” Keith states, “Two thousand, twenty-eight, point seven to one? Those are good odds, Mr. Slav.”

 

Lance can’t believe what he’s hearing. He wants to rub his eyes again because there is a smug expression plastered on Keith’s face that has no right to be there. He looks at his friends imploringly for aid to get their grabby and eccentric friend to leave him alone. The Princess and Coran laugh at the situation. Pidge just makes a sarcastic sad face at him. Hunk makes eye contact with Lance and gives his friend a look that says, “Told ya Galra-Keith was funny.” _Traitors._

 

Slav eats the praise up with an exclamation of, “I know!” Then all of the sporadic scientist’s hands let go of Lance to scamper over to the other Paladin. Keith only stiffens a little. “And you! You must be the Wayseer’s tether to the physical world. The past Wayseer had her own within the Red Paladin as well.”

The Black Paladin’s mouth drops, and he shakes his head. He looks over to Lance for an explanation, but Lance’s blue eyes are cold and sharp. The other Paladin crosses his arms and looks away. Keith feels a pang of dread in the pit of his stomach at that reaction. _Here we go again_ , Keith thinks as he can see the old habits resurfacing between them.

 

“Hold on, wouldn’t that be Allura?” Pidge states.

The Princess shakes her head, “Even though the Red Lion has chosen me, it’s only temporary until we find Shiro. The same goes for the bond the Black Lion shares with Keith.”

Their temporary leader turns away from Lance and focuses on the conversation instead. “The Black Lion called me  _Fire Paladin,_ as I went to help Lance. They told me to reach out to him. Is that-”

Slav has another burst of energy and darts from Keith and Lance over to Hunk and Pidge. “Ooh, and this must be the reality where one of you is the Light Bringer as well!”

Pidge cringes away from their many armed ally. Hunk’s eyes begin to sparkle, all pessimism vanishing at the hopeful title.  

 

“That sounds-” Pidge begins.

“Amazing!” Hunk cuts off.

“Overwhelming.” The smaller if the Paladins deadpans. She’s throwing Hunk an annoyed expression, but the man doesn't notice.

 

Lance huffs and tries to pop the selfish feeling bubbling up due to this no longer putting him in the limelight. He wraps his robe tighter around himself; his head is throbbing. _Yeah,_ Lance thinks, _this is starting to be overwhelming. Consider me sufficiently whelmed for the next century._

 “Um, in layman's terms please?” Lance asks.

 

Coran chuckles, and they all turn to stare at him. He’s brimming with excitement, his hands clasped in front of him, and he’s bouncing in place with shining eyes. “It is not yet clear which Paladin the Light Bringer will be, but they will be able to manifest quintessential growth and healing in others.”

Loud grumbles echo in the large room, and the others turn to the larger Paladin. Hunk blushes and covers his face. He’s stammering out an excuse as the others moods lift around them.

 

Pidge smirks, “Sounds like we have a volunteer.”

 

 …

 

 The team gathers for another late meal before turning in for the night. They make promises to continue their training for the next quintent. They have yet to process all of this new information, and it makes Keith uneasy. Does this mean, that their fates are tied Voltron more than before, or that there will be yet another delay in finding the rebels and their leader? He makes a mental note _not_ to let that happen again.

Tomorrow he’s taking Pidge to the base she mentioned to find answers.

 

The Green and Yellow Paladins are chatting about the possibilities of their abilities as they all walk back to their living quarters.  Hunk still mentions some worry, and Pidge agrees that they could start monitoring their vitals somehow.

As the group separates for the night, the silence grows. Soon it’s only the Blue and Black Paladins walking down the halls.

Lance doesn’t try and hide frustration at being, yet again, forced to work with the one person who gets under his skin. He outright doesn’t even speak to Keith. Which the Water Paladin thinks is just fine, because Keith hasn’t acknowledged him since the med bay, so he deserves it.

When Keith tries to say goodnight to his friend, Lance snaps at him.  

“Don’t get any ideas, buddy!” Lance snips, “Whatever happened in that vision? Wasn’t us. It will _never_ be us.”

Keith glares and gestures at him with exasperation, “What are you even talking about?”

A sour expression grows on Lance’s face as he looks Keith up in down, “Don’t play dumb.”

“Whatever! Can you get over yourself for five minutes?” The other yells out before storming off.

Lance just glares at the ground with sorrow in his eyes.

…

 

The Water Paladin curls up in his bedroom. His covers are drawn tightly around him. He can’t stop thinking about what he has learned, and what he saw. Eyes puffy and sore from crying. Body aching, even though the pods should have healed any physical injuries. He tosses himself over and glares up at the few lanterns he put on the ceiling. The lights are dim, flickering like fire light though he knows they are artificial. They cast dancing shadows around his room, adding warmth and familiarity to the once foreign place.

 

_His breath shakes, his arms wrap tightly around another person. They allow themselves this moment of comfort for what feels like the last time. The Lights within Blue are dim, and he still feels betrayal from Keith deciding to throw himself at death in front of all the rebel leaders and other Paladins. Without even asking the Team. Without asking him._

_“Don’t leave me behind,” Lance says, knowing that he can't go with the other and clings tighter to the Red Paladin._

_The other man shifts in his arms, to face Lance. The look in his eyes has a softness that..._ is not meant for him. _He feels a hand rest on the side of his face. Keith speaks in a private tone that makes Lance relax marginally, “Never even crossed my mind, Moody.”_

 

The tone had been different in that nickname than in the med bay. Lance can still feel his heart rate pick up, his body responding to feelings that he knows he can’t share. Lance flicks a speck of his magic at the ceiling, the frustration in him dims as one of the lights freezes and fades.

 

“That will never be us.” He repeats in a broken tone to himself.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up, Star Shines, we're going on an adventure. 
> 
> Some details will be changing in past "episodes" as we progress and I regress and edit them. ;) Nothing too, fanon changing, I promise. 
> 
> I love all of you so much, and thanks again for sending me your kindness. Warms my heart~<3
> 
> The first person who gets where that statistic interaction between Keith and Slav came from gets a shout out. Because damn if that isn't a vague reference, then I'm not the Overlord of obscure nerdy references.


	11. I Will Now Meditate

 

The next morning starts with breakfast and light discussion of their plans for the day. Lance marvels at the food on the table. Sure he'd helped with unloading most of the produce, but it hadn't set in that they would be eating real food for a while.

"I don't know how you do it," Keith beams at Hunk while he sips at what looks like a combination of orange juice with swirls of pink fruit in it. The Yellow Paladin laughs and tells him just how he did it. Keith is listening intently to Hunk as he eats. Lance notices that there is a softness around his counterpart's eyes.

The Blue Paladin pouts next to Pidge and pokes at his food. _When did they start getting close?_

 As he sighs the Green Paladin side-eyes him over the datapad in her hands, "What are you so grumpy about?"

He's about to reply when Pidge leans over and follows the line of his vision.

Hunk is still telling Keith about breakfast and the planning that went into it. "I prepped all of this before bed and woke up a little early to cook. Coran helped."

Coran jumps into the conversation with a humble stance, stating that he never really had a knack for cooking cuisine other than Altean.

 "Oooh," Pidge drawls, "that started when he brought Keith lunch the other day. Hunk wouldn't shut up about it."

Lance looks at her with disbelief. "What? How come I don't get room service?"

The Green Paladin rolls her eyes and smirks at him. Her glasses catch the light, "Why, you jealous?"

"N-no!" he denies and goes back to poking at his food. He can hear Pidge chuckle next to him. "Okay, a little. Shut it, shorty."

He squawks sharply, and his smaller friend pinches his side. "Don't call me that. Also, stop worrying about it. Hunk is still your BFF five-ever." She says sternly before going back to her datapad and finger foods.

Lance laughs lightly and starts to entertain himself by sharing the remainder of his meal with the mice closest to his plate.

 

…

 

The plan is to divide up patrols and training as Slav does precautionary scans on the areas surrounding the abandoned base that Pidge and Lance had found. Keith insisted that they play it safe as to not wander into any ambushes or traps. They all agree and begin heading their separate ways for the day.

Well, almost all of them agree. The Blue Paladin can't shake the uneasy feeling he has about the base. He vaguely remembers that he'd seen something related to it. Or maybe it was a dream? He just knows that he doesn't trust that they'll find anything good there.

Lance pulls the Princess aside as the other Paladins clean the dining hall of their dishes. He hopes that maybe he can get some answers.

Allura watches him with concern as he stumbles over his words and thoughts. Lance wants to punch himself. He'd spent so much time flirting with her that he's forgotten how to talk to her like another huma—sentient being. They'd spoken before, but now Lance can only see overbearing compassion in her eyes. It makes him uncomfortable to have someone so attentive as he speaks, and always making eye contact. He feels like he can't hide.

"I…um. I don't know about this Wayfinder-"

"Wayseer," she corrects.

"Uh yeah Wayseer, thing." The Blue Paladin fusses. "I don't think I'm the best one to be looking into the future and deciding what we do from there, ya know? The healing part is nice, but what good does it do to know what might happen before it even does?"

The Princess stares at him for a moment, and then finally breaks eye contact as she thinks over his question. Lance fidgets with his hands for a moment and then shoves them in his pockets when he notices the blue sparks starting to ark from his fingertips.

"Coran will be taking over the training from now on," Allura finally says, and Lance can't help the feeling of disappointment the rises within him. "I think your concerns are valid, though I don't think the Blue Lion would have shared these gifts with you if she thought you were not ready."

Lance huffs, "How is this supposed to help us though?"

She puts a hand on his shoulder, and he fights the urge to shrug her off in his frustration. "Before Alteans perfected the Teludav, we ran the risk of crossing over into alternative timelines and universes."

He looks at her as she explains. He had no idea that their technology was capable of multiverse travel. The idea both excites and terrifies him.

"The Wayseer was essential in helping map out our course through the stars." The Princess' expression goes distant and dreamy. Her hand drops to her side. "It was magnificent."

She remembers the excitement she felt as a child when she watched the original Blue and Red Paladins foretell their path. The magic around them had been active, and it would light up the bridge of the castle. The magic would dance across the walls and floor, and their bond as Paladins had been nearly unbreakable. It was almost tangible in any room they walked into, and it seemed that the Blue Paladin could heal the lands they visited with every step. Her father often told her tales of how they had stumbled into the wrong place at literally the wrong time, and how they had met many other cultures and species by pure happenstance.

"Allura?" Lance's soft tone pulls her out of her memories.

She flushes with embarrassment and clears her throat. "Forgive me," She looks at the floor for a moment, "it's been many years since I have thought about the other Paladins."

Her tone and slumped shoulders remind Lance of the homesickness he has felt since the beginning of their journey. Lance hadn't thought about how the Princess must be feeling. Almost all of the people she knew and cared about are gone and replaced by strangers. It's the loneliest feeling in the universe.

"Allura, I'm sorry, you must miss them a lot." He tries to sooth.

The now Red Paladin takes a deep sigh and blinks tears away from her blue eyes as she looks at him again. Her sad smile shows a strength that Lance can't imagine possessing. "I truly do," she admits with the smallest of waivers in her voice. "However, Lance, you and the others are my family now, and I am thankful for having met all of you."

He laughs uneasily, "Pretty messed up family if you ask me." He realizes how that must sound too late, and is proven correct when he looks at Allura to see her disapproving expression and crossed arms. "I-I mean, not you! You're perfect! I just—I," he stammers quickly trying to save face. Then notices that Allura is fighting the sides of her lips from rising into a smile. "Heeeey! No fair."

Her façade breaks and she laughs wholeheartedly. Lance joins in and lets the energy flow through him. 

 


	12. Make No Mistake, I'm not in...

 

 

The simulation of the Altean forest surrounds all three of them. Twisting trees and spiraling leaves glisten in the early morning light. Lance likes this version of the woods. Little particles of what he guesses must be pollen, or maybe insects, float in the beams of light filtering through the canopy. Lance can hear the sounds of wildlife around them. It reminds him of the lush rainforests he used to visit on Earth. Lance also remembers the first time he visited a large city, and how he felt all at once at home in a place that was always moving and always growing.

So much life, and danger. 

Keith recalls the thick forests of pine trees that he and his father would visit in order to escape the hot summers in their hometown. How everything there was quiet, patient, and moving at an unhurried pace. This version of the simulation draws him back to those few happy summers of his childhood. The sky in those mountains had been a vibrant blue, almost as beautiful as the ocean. At night, was when the real danger would emerge, and the stars were so close he thought that if he climbed high enough in those mountains he could reach out and touch them. 

 

Coran leads them through a series of stretches and light cardio to get their blood pumping. Keith is silently thankful for the physical activity after being away from the training deck for the past few vargas. He can feel his muscles strain in a pleasant way as he tests and pushes himself. Then Keith catches Lance looking in his direction. He wants to call the other out on it. Keith noticed the other avoiding him. The one-sided tension between the two of them is getting on his nerves. He doesn't understand why Lance started pushing him away again.

"Alright, now that your bodies are all warmed up, we're going to settle in for a mindfulness session! This time we'll use the Paladin bond to link your minds." Coran excitedly states, not noticing the silence from the other two.

The Blue Paladin actively finds a spot to sit as far away from Keith as possible. He hates the idea that Keith will be able to see his thoughts. It was bad enough that the other Paladin had seen a vision of another version of the both of them. _What if Keith thinks that's in our future?_ It won't ever be them; those two were closer than Lance could ever imagine being with the hot-tempered Paladin. Lance grumbles to himself for assuming the other's thoughts and feelings. _Why would Keith even want that in the first place? He hates me._

 

The forest hushes around them. Lance takes in a lungful of air and allows the weight of his body to settle into the earth. He can sense the others getting comfortable around him as well.

Unlike Allura, Coran doesn't vocally guide them through this. He allows them to feel the silence and become still all on their own.

 

Lance notices for the first time that he's hyper aware of the other's presence. It was like holding your hand in front of your face in an entirely dark room. You know it's there, and it's almost like you can see its shape. Only you could never truly see the lines on your hand in pitch darkness; you could never truly know every detail. 

He wants to try and reach out to them, and wonders if that is even possible. Lance imagines a light in the darkness, like a small campfire in the distance. He feels drawn to it, and the warmth it promises. He sees in his mind his hand reaching out in front of himself in the dark.

"Stop fidgeting," Keith calls at Lance from across the training deck.

That startles Lance out of his relaxed position and thoughts. A spark of shame lights within himself for a brief moment. Then he gets defensive; he hadn't been moving.

"Oh, okay. Sorry, Chief." He says sarcastically before trying to keep his body still. Now he can't get comfortable. _Geez, where did that come from?_

 

They grow silent again.

 

Keith holds back a sigh and tries to even out his breathing. He can't do this. He's aware of the others, and he's not ready to have Lance snooping around in his thoughts. The Blue Paladin had more than enough ammunition against him, and things are too tense to allow his guard down now. They hardly know anything about each other, and they can't seem to go more than a few days without wanting to tear into each other.

Keith almost slipped up again. Judging Lance's technique against his own before they even got started with training.

 

Silence.

Breath in. Breath out.

 

All they have to worry about is right now. Not what they've said to each other in the past. Not what they might do in the future.

 

Focus.

On.

Now.

 

It's too silent. Lance's breathing sounds forced and loud in his head. He tries to steady it, and the only thing that accomplishes is more anxiety over his breathing. Before he makes himself hyperventilate, Lance takes a loud, deep breath, holds it for ten seconds, and lets it out.

 

The only version of them that Lance has to worry about is this one. The living and breathing one sitting across from him.

 

_I can handle this._

_We can do this._

 

The sounds of joints popping make Lance peek open one of his eyes to see the frustrated frown plastered on the other's face. Keith's hands clenched on his knees. He almost finds the other's expression cute. He scrunches his eyes shut as the memory of the other Keith flashes through his mind, the other Paladin looking at him with soft and kind eyes. _NO! Stop thinking about that._

Keith snaps, "Will you just focus?"

Lance looks at the other again and immediately rolls his eyes at them. Lance lied, he can't do this today. He lashes back out, "Oh right because you're the Paragon of Patience, I forgot, my bad."  

The Red Paladin lets out a frustrated sigh, and his eyes sharpen as they glare at him. Lance soaks it in and sticks his tongue out at the other Paladin. _See, I can work with the rivalry_. He tells himself, and before he closes his eyes again, the other gets up and starts to storm off.

 

"Dude! Slow your roll! I was just joking," Lance calls after him.

The Black Paladin whips around and strides over to where Lance is sitting. "If you're not going to take this seriously, I'm leaving."

He swallows thickly. Keith is fuming and looks like he might explode if Lance says the wrong thing, or moves the wrong way, or breathes too loud. Slowly, Lance raises his hands in surrender. "Sorry, I'll stop. Seriously."  

 

Keith eyes him skeptically for a moment. Lance wants to bait the other man again. The stare each other down.

 

"So…," Coran hesitates, "we'll start with what Allura has been teaching you."

"Can you give us a moment?" Keith asks the older man in a sharper tone than he would have liked. He can't do this anymore if they're going to work as a team with this crazy new space magic…the thing, then they're going to have to break down some walls.

Coran looks between the two young Paladins with worry. "Uh, yes. Of course."

"No, he doesn't have to leave!" The Blue Paladin fights and moves to stand.

Then Keith corners him with a look that screams red alert to Lance, and he shuts up.

 

They both stand there with only the sounds of the Altean forest around them and watch Coran leave. As the doors close behind their older friend, Lance suddenly wishes that he had fought harder for the other to stay.

 

"If you have something to say, Lance, just say it." Keith snaps.

Lance mocks the other one impulsively, "If _you_  have something to say, _Keith_ , then say. IT."

 

He watches as the darker haired man struggles to control his confusion and anger all at once. Lance smirks cruelly at his leader, putting his hands on his hips as the false confidence fuels him.

Then Keith does something that he doesn't expect. He locks his dark gray eyes with his blue ones, searching for something. The darker haired man's expression opens up slowly, and there's that vulnerability that puts Lance's nerves on edge. There's no reason for Keith to look at him like that. _Why does he keep trusting me?_

"Why do you keep pushing me away?" The paler man asks Lance with a steady tone.

Lance bites the inside of his cheek, what Keith said sounded like a reply to his thoughts. It couldn't be though. He doesn't know how to answer Keith's question. Breaking eye contact, he looks at the forest around them and crosses his arms. 

 

Something chirps overhead, filling the silence between them. 

 

Keith doesn't back down, "What did you mean when you said, ‘That will never be us,' the other night?"  

 

Lance chances a glance at Keith and regrets it immediately. Keith shrugs his arms at the tanner man in an open gesture before dropping them to his sides again. He looks tired. Worried. Lost.

The acting Black Paladin watches the other for a moment. He can tell that Lance keeps hesitating. Opening his mouth to say something, and then closing it again. When Lance pulls his blue eyes away from their shared contact, Keith wants to punch something. _What did I do this time?_ Sure, Lance sees them as rivals, but they've moved passed that so many times by now. He's tired of taking one step forward and two back.

"Do you seriously think we'll never be friends?!" Keith's walls are back up, and his anger at the lack of answers from the other flairs.

 

Lance flinches at the other's raised voice. He looks up at Keith with a rawness in his eyes. Lance feels like he's about to break, "Friends don't act like that." He shakes his head and blinks up at the Altean sky with wet eyes. Lance lets a broken laugh out and an apology. He tries talking and is interrupted by more tears and tightness in his throat. Frustration blends with shame and sadness as Lance thinks about how ridiculous this is.  _Crying? Again? Really?!_

 

"...Lance," Keith is winded, and he doesn't know what to do. 

 

"We," Lance tries sniffling out another apology, "We are friends though. I consider us friends…just not, close ones, yet. A-and, ahem," Lance almost doesn't believe himself, yes they are friends and yes he wants to get to know the other man more. But he doesn't trust that the feeling is mutual. "I don't care what you might think about that vision; it's just weird knowing that that's not us. I can't see us ever being that close."

 

Keith stares at him and then raises an eyebrow.

 

"I think we're talking about two different things." Lance looks hurt and is about to say something else but Keith waves him off, "All I saw was myself trying to hug you because I upset you. That seems like normal friend behavior. Even if it's coming from me."

_Well shit._ Lance feels the blood draining out of his face. So Keith can't see everything he sees, that explains a little bit. _The quiznack am I supposed to do now? Tell him that we got all mushy?_

 

Then Keith tilts his head to the side when Lance freezes, and the Blue Paladin wants to die. "Ahahah, Dude!" Lance laughs hysterically, "You're so right. It is weird coming from you. Mister Serious, giving out free hugs."

The other Paladin smiles, and it reaches his eyes, "Hey, I've hugged someone before."

"Oh yeah, Chief?" Lance leans into the other's personal bubble. "Shiro doesn't count. That was a supportive leader hug."

Keith doesn't back away and shakes his head at Lance's mock serious face. "Yeah, right. I was going to say that I've hugged Hunk."  

"Who hasn't?" Lance challenges and throws his arms in the air. He feels like he can breathe now.  

"Ugh!" Keith fakes being offended, "Shut your _quiznack_." Keith draws out the exasperation in the Altean swear word with an over pronounced eye and head roll.

They just look at each other for a moment as Lance processes what Keith just said. A genuine smile stretches across his mouth, and Keith smiles too as he sees the other man's joy finally surface. Both Water and Fire Paladins feed off of the harmonious energy shared between them.

 For once, Keith lets his impulses guide him. He pulls the other into a hug, and Lance stiffens with a yelp. Before the other can return the embrace, Keith shifts his hold, and locks the other's head in one arm and messes up his hair playfully. 

Lance flails his hands trying to pull Keith's grip off of him. "HEY!" He can't help but laugh at the surprising playfulness from his friend. "Stop!"

The other Paladin releases his friend to admire his handiwork. Brown hair is in chaos and Lance runs his hands over his head trying to fix it. 

"Aww man," he whines, "it took me hours to get my hair to behave today." 

Keith chuckles fondly at him, and Lance sees the look that's thrown his way. Lance's face burns with the blush rushing to his cheeks at the attention. Before he can play it off by saying something distracting, something finally clicks between them. Lance leaves his hair alone and returns his friend's smile. 

 

_So what if our friendship runs a little hot and a little cold._ Keith thinks. 

_We could make a great team._ Lance allows himself to dream.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know what you thought and if you want more, or where you think it's going. ;) I'd love the feedback. 
> 
>  
> 
> This work is my first fic in several years after being turned off to sharing my writing. Please be kind.


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